Throughout my entire life, I’ve always considered my middle brother to be my best friend. I’ve had friends come and go throughout the years just like anyone else but a sibling can never be replaced. We can tell each other anything and everything without judgment. We quite clearly lead separate lives in separate cities with separate directions but we always have each other.
Yesterday we went on a long overdue spontaneous road trip to the cities. What for? To shop at IKEA! I’ll leave out the nauseating details of a great day with my kid brother but I was reminded of so many happy and positive things in my life while hanging out with him yesterday. He’s so down to earth and is able to ground even the most “strung out on stress” person. There’s a sense of intoxication from being able to laugh and share memories for hours and hours. Music blasting and laughing until we cry makes everything else in the world temporarily disappear. Any doubts about how shitty the slowly creeping days of our existence are moving by, slowly evaporates as soon as we are together. I think we were both reminded that we have each other. Reminiscing about the past and updating the present is proof that the future has so much to offer for both of us.
It’s so easy to build a positive character when you have someone to turn to. I need to remember to live my life in the way that I want to and not let others hold me back. If someone scowls because I’m having the time of the life, I shouldn’t be allowed to let that get to me anymore. I’ve so easily become a mummy among everyone else, putting each person I come in contact with before myself and although that’s my nature; I still deserve to live the way that makes me happy as well. I came to a realization yesterday on why some people may not have a positive outlook about me and I intend to change that. While there are instances that I have no control over, I want people to see me for who I am; for who Nick sees me and knows me as, not the person that you think I am. I’ve pushed myself so far into the back that it was so easy for persons to develop false opinions of me. So, here goes nothing.