Oh, hey. I’ve been out of commission for a while on vacation. I’ll update you with the details later. I haven’t even gotten a chance to go through my pictures yet. But since I’m here, I thought I’d open up the floor to a thought on my long way home yesterday. I should add a disclaimer so that everyone knows that I mean no offense because this may come off as one-sided.
Disclaimer: There is no scientific bias to my observation. It is just that, an observation based on people that I know. Some I know very well and some I don’t know much more than their last names. I also want to note that although I’m going to use examples, that doesn’t mean that I’m correct. We’re all wrong once in a while. Just hear me out.
So, on the way home, don’t ask me why or how this came about because I don’t have an answer for that…but I was thinking about relationships. Everything from romantic to platonic. It seems (in my observation) that one person in said relationship loves or cares more deeply for the mate than the other. This doesn’t go to say that both people aren’t in love or are “best friends.” I’ve just noticed that there are many examples, primarily based on how they interact with each other in public, that cares for the other more deeply.
Take my romantic relationship for example. I know my S.O. loves me more than he can probably put into words but from an outsider looking in, it seems to appear that I love and care for him more. Take my parents for another example. They’ve been married for close to 30 years, together for 33. They’re in it for the long run. Again, based on the actions of them, it may appear that my dad cares more deeply in that relationship. My youngest brother, he’s still a teenager and his girlfriend is just as young. I don’t know her well but based on their chemistry when in front of people, he’s completely hooked. He’d do absolutely anything. No matter what. Her on the other hand, I’m not too sure.
There’s a couple that I don’t know all that well but based on the little information that has come up in daily conversation; the woman’s actions, I would have to say without a doubt, that the husband is more devoted and loyal to his wife than if roles were reversed. Same goes for friendships. Just humor me and try this out (mentally of course). Pick three couples you know whether it be platonic or romantic. Who loves or cares for the other more? Based on what they put out into the world?
When I did this on my drive home 9 out of 10 times it was quite obvious who appeared to love the other more. At the same time, which is kind of humorous, I wonder if in reality roles are reversed. Although in my opinion, it seems that I love my boyfriend more by my actions, I know that he’d have a much tougher time without me than I him.
When friendships fall apart. One half is sometimes quite fine. It didn’t really phase them but the other may seek a reconnection over and over.
See what I mean? Have you tried it yet? As a reminder, this is purely an observation based on what we put out into the world. Based on our attitudes and our actions. Just because this is what I have observed doesn’t mean in any way that couples are incapable of loving each other the same. But we are all made up of different lives. Different experiences. Harder or easier moments. Less or more heartache and pain. There is no way to really judge the level percentage of love or care within a relationship.
I guess that’s why the saying “actions speak louder than words” exists.