I’ve written the same post that I’m about to write at least three times before over the last three years and I’ve spent many sleepless nights tossing and turning over the very same topic. I mope about it, mull it over, and I talk my boyfriend and mom’s ears off until they bleed. But I never end up doing anything about it. I never work hard enough. I guess I always come to the conclusion that it’ll be a waste of time, money, and energy.
But would it really?
Since I was a little girl, like many little girls, I’ve had my life planned out to a T. I was going to go to college, travel the world, get married, buy a beautiful house, have happy healthy kids, and live happily ever after. Sound familiar?
My “go to college” always changed though. When I was little I wanted to be a teacher and then a doctor and then a nurse because my grandma told me girls can’t be doctors. And then I wanted to be a teacher again, maybe a writer. I thought about being an architect or a stay-at-home mom.
But I always knew, life would work out. I had time. The generations before me still tell me I have time. I want to roll my eyes so hard when they say that. I know they’re right but my “dream life” is way off track. The happily ever after portion of my life would have began already. College, travel, marriage, house, kids – they all would have been started by now.
But I’m getting off track to what this post is actually about..
Since entering the “real world” in 2009 [post college], I’ve slowly realized what I want to be when I grow up. I had no fucking idea what I was going to do with my life mid-community college and sadly, I didn’t even think it was necessary to figure it out at that point.
After joining the world wide work force, I found that I love children. I love working with children, helping them learn, watching them grow. I also love photography. I feel like I see everything through a camera lens. I want to capture every beautiful moment in case I’ll never see it again. I want my pictures to look as phenomenal as what I’m seeing right now. That’s the one thing I couldn’t live without, sight. Take away the other 4 senses and I’ll find a way to make it work but without sight, I’d have nothing.
I’ve always devoted a lot of my life to a knack for creativity. Whether it be art class and the various mediums we used or putting together a project for myself at home – I’ve always loved doing it and trying new things to see how they turn out. I wish I had the training to work in Photoshop or Quark to do graphic design too. Make posters and billboards and magazine ads. I love colors and lines. I love how an idea or scribble on a piece of paper can turn into a brilliant ensemble of message, promotion, and inspiration.
On the same creative front, I enjoy interior design and sketching out dream homes on graph paper. I could live and die in Hobby Lobby brainstorming all the amazing things I could create. I want to have a workshop in my “future garage” with saws, hammers, routers, and whatever else to prep wood for all my cool ideas. Paint galore and enough tulle, ribbon, and stencils to my little hearts desire would be strewn all over the damn place!
Don’t think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it’s good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art. ~Andy Warhol
So what do you do with all that? I’m not interested in the money-making professions of the world. I’m smart enough. I’ve found that no matter what duty you give me, I can teach myself how to do it. No matter how little information I’m given, I can always find the answers. I’m a detail-oriented perfectionist. I am bright, smart, intelligent, whatever you want to call it. I’m a task driven, motivated, do-it-all, Jill of all trades kind of girl.
But can you really make a comfortable living writing, crafting, and picture taking in today’s world? If someone else were faced with this dilemma, I would point out that we’re in the age of the millennial. We’re full of self-worth and motivation. We’re not afraid to get our hands dirty and work hard. Prove everyone wrong. So why not take my own damn advice for once?
I need to make a valiant effort instead of blogging about it endlessly time after time. I need to put the work and the hours in writing, blogging, submitting. I need to create a realistic yet goal seeking business plan. Invest in some of the money I have saved up and build up an inventory of Pinterest projects come to life, order full sized prints of my photography, teach myself graphic design, be a vendor at local craft shows, buy business cards, market myself. None of this is impossible. Honestly, all of it is obtainable with a little determination and self-sacrifice.
I might be behind on my fairy-tale dream but I’m not about to give up on it quite yet. I might not be able to get my beautiful dream home as soon as I want it and I might not have kids until I’m 30. I might never get married and I might have more bumps down the road then I planned on. I might not have traveled anywhere yet or look the way I want. But I can tell you something, I’m not about to allow myself to give up on my dreams. Not now, not ever.
If you see me around and feel like giving me a kick in the ass to get it in gear, feel free. I’ll do the same for you if you ever need a push into the direction of your dreams.