Home is where the heart is

We’ve heard that phrase so many times throughout life but it wasn’t until this past year, that I started to understand it better. My home has felt like a prison more times than not in this weird time we still seem to be in. I’m sure most, especially apartment dwellers and singletons would agree. Honestly, even those with roomies in the form of spouses and kiddos probably could get on board with that feeling.

An uncomfortable case of recurring situational depression and a never-ending anxious mind has been ever-present in this hurricane of a pandemic for me. It hasn’t been cute. Most people don’t even know who in their lives are hurting because even though we live in this “woke” modern age, feeling sad is still taboo to a lot of people.

So what does this house on stilts have to do with anything?

Last week, I took a staycation to this treetop cabin in the woods properly nicknamed Kløver Nord. I’ve actually been doing pretty okay as of late but I felt regularly over-worked and all too often underwhelmed. I felt too busy and not busy enough at the same time. Restless and sad and angry; an emo kid with sensitivity issues. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I work and live in the same space every single day and while I do count my blessings for having a job through all this crap, it doesn’t mean everything has been rainbows and butterflies in life.

If nothing else comes of it, I’ve learned this past year to listen to myself and my needs; to slow down. To recognize when I need a breather or when I need my people. To slap myself out of a pity party, to take responsibility for how I’m feeling, and to make corrective actions to better my quality of life.

Next week will mark one year of working at home. One year of reminding myself, sometimes daily, that I don’t want to live and breathe as a worker bee, letting my dreams slide to fulfill the agenda of someone else’s. It’ll mark a year of hills and valleys that would make the most accomplished of hikers question if it was worth it. But it also marks a year of really finding things to love about myself, discovering new hobbies, meeting incredible people, and going on adventures in so many different mediums. I’m excited for what lies ahead.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, if you’ve been feeling not so great as of late or maybe for the last year.. I hear ya. I see ya. I really don’t wanna be ya. But I do hope you can find the thing you need and have the resources in some capacity to press pause and run away to a cabin in the woods. Or wherever it is that your heart needs to be so you can refresh and fill your cup. Because whether you realize it or not, we need you and all the “stuff” of life will still be here when you get back.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s