So, I’ve been working on finding motivating things to get me going; to get me happy and healthy. I think I’ve found it! Heels. Really, heels?
I don’t really go shopping much for a few different reasons. There’s the obvious, I’m broke and than there is the still obvious but not so prominent; nothing fits. But you know what always fits? Shoes. I went to Payless on an outing with my mom yesterday and tried on about five pairs of heels. Now, keep in mind, I don’t “do” heels. Never have and said I never will but I think that may change. I loved them!!
I probably look like a tom-boy trying to walk in them but I love the way they look in the mirror. From the bottom up, heels look sophisticated. They show confidence and a sense of sexuality.
|Heels I fell In Love With – Payless
Even though I loved the way they looked, I realized that I kind of look silly wearing them with my body frame and I don’t think I’d want to fall down in them looking the way I do. So this morning, I went through my magazines and cut-out about twenty pairs of heels and models wearing them. I want to wear them and feel as confident and beautiful as the people in the photos. I’m not foolish. I’m not going to aim to look like those models. I have no desire to do that. To be honest, most of them look scary skinny and I have no need in the world to reach for something like that. I want to feel beautiful and to feel beautiful; I need to gain confidence in my appearance again.
So here’s to something to reach for; high heels!
Just wanted to pop in and show a little appreciation for the people that follow my writing. The people that compliment it and bash it down; I want to say thank you. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and even though I can be hard headed at times and stick to my guns, I do like to hear opinions and other views. I know that I don’t have much to say and at times I get off on tangents about how terrible I feel like my life has been but it means more the brightest star in the universe to hear that people actually pay attention. They get it, they understand, they read, and they support. That’s what I love about the freedom of speech and will; it’s still out there. I’ve been in a slump and really bad place for some time now and I’m determined to pull myself out of this gutter. To be quite honest, it’s pathetic. I can’t STAND people that sit in a little hole in the ground whining about the life they’ve chosen or the cards they were dealt. But what am I doing? I’m a hypocrite at the very least. I need to pull my head out of my ass and go back to being me, being Ori. The Ori that I grew up with and am proud of is fun, carefree, silly. I am lovable, compassionate, and full of hopes and dreams so why not continue that life? So what if I’ve pressed pause longer normal; I’m young and I need to cherish that. I need to work on myself, my goals, and my aspirations. I want to inspire people, I want to be proud of myself, and most of all I want to be happy again. Thank you again to the many people who have believed in me before I could believe in myself. Lets do this!
On one hand going to the gym is refreshing and stress relieving but on another it’s embarrassing and difficult. I’ve been going to the gym Monday through Thursday since the 8th and although I’m proud of myself for the commitment, I can’t help but look at those around me. I feel as though I’m one of the worst hypocrites in this setting because I worry to death about what people are thinking of my ishy looking body on the elliptical but at the same time I think of how much I loath the skinny bitches going nine miles an hour on the treadmill. I think my issue lies from my adolescent and teen years being teased by the popular, athletic girls who have always been so fit and confident in what they look like. Nevertheless, I’m going to continue my routine each weekday and try to better my mental criticisms due to my own self-esteem. After all, New You is about becoming a better you and I’m determined to do so.