Re-reading that, some might think I’m anti-love but I’m not. I believe that love is one if the greatest things a person is blessed with. To endure and to give love is an amazing yet heartbreaking experience. Everyone deserves to be loved from deep inside their core to their fingertips and to the soles of their feet. Love is powerful and can move mountains but if your being realistic, it can also flood seas and kills dreams. Point being; love fully, wholeheartedly, and most of all love truly. Any heartbreak will be well worth the feeling of joy in the best of times. Parents and family members die, children go to college, girls will move on, and men will have affairs but you’ll never know if your the victim until you’ve loved. Love and live, no one has ever said they don’t love being loved. Unless of course they are ignorant and haven’t found the unwritten wisdom behind it.
Throughout my entire life, I’ve always considered my middle brother to be my best friend. I’ve had friends come and go throughout the years just like anyone else but a sibling can never be replaced. We can tell each other anything and everything without judgment. We quite clearly lead separate lives in separate cities with separate directions but we always have each other.
Yesterday we went on a long overdue spontaneous road trip to the cities. What for? To shop at IKEA! I’ll leave out the nauseating details of a great day with my kid brother but I was reminded of so many happy and positive things in my life while hanging out with him yesterday. He’s so down to earth and is able to ground even the most “strung out on stress” person. There’s a sense of intoxication from being able to laugh and share memories for hours and hours. Music blasting and laughing until we cry makes everything else in the world temporarily disappear. Any doubts about how shitty the slowly creeping days of our existence are moving by, slowly evaporates as soon as we are together. I think we were both reminded that we have each other. Reminiscing about the past and updating the present is proof that the future has so much to offer for both of us.
It’s so easy to build a positive character when you have someone to turn to. I need to remember to live my life in the way that I want to and not let others hold me back. If someone scowls because I’m having the time of the life, I shouldn’t be allowed to let that get to me anymore. I’ve so easily become a mummy among everyone else, putting each person I come in contact with before myself and although that’s my nature; I still deserve to live the way that makes me happy as well. I came to a realization yesterday on why some people may not have a positive outlook about me and I intend to change that. While there are instances that I have no control over, I want people to see me for who I am; for who Nick sees me and knows me as, not the person that you think I am. I’ve pushed myself so far into the back that it was so easy for persons to develop false opinions of me. So, here goes nothing.
Since I’m a North Dakotan resident this voting season, I want to take a second to stress the importance of voting to my fellow Minnesotan people. There are so many important reasons to vote this year among one of the most important is for the presidential seat. But what’s more important on a personal level for so many Minnesotans is the equality of marriage. Love comes in so many different forms and faces. It comes to us through acts of kindness, feelings of doubt, at times when we don’t deserve it, and the most important moments in our lives. To some people marriage may just be a signature on a piece of paper signed 25 years ago but to so many of the people we see everyday that are a part of the LGBT community, marriage is a significant piece of history that wants to be embraced on the deepest level possible. Being able to marry the one person that you feel complete with shouldn’t be given the cold shoulder and shouldn’t be hated by the most bigoted of people. So please, Minnesota; vote NO on November 6th. Even if you don’t know anyone personally and haven’t seen it first hand, please show your support. I CANNOT stand seeing the people that I love and know go through another day knowing that the one thing that people look forward to when planning their lives as little boys and girls can’t be fulfilled because a few thousand people don’t want to support them. Please, VOTE NO. If not for me, do it for the future generation.
I’ve expressed my opinion on gay rights in the past and it still stands. I believe wholeheartedly that anyone regardless of sexual orientation should be entitled to marriage. Marriage is something more than just a boyfriend/girlfriend label. Marriage is something that is so meaningful on such a deep spiritual level for all those involved. This post in particular is in relevance to the religious community. I saw and shared the below photo to FB as I was raised in the Catholic community. Granted, I haven’t been to church in longer than an acceptable amount of time but I’m discovering that my reasoning for choosing not to attend is due to the negative views that the Catholic community has pushed on the younger generation based on the “faith.” I’m not a spokesperson for my religion nor any other but it disgusts me on the deepest level that today’s current religious guru’s insist on being blinded by the current events of the 21st century. In the Catholic church, for example, so many things have changed in the short 22 years that I’ve been around. When to sit and when to stand, which words to say within prayers and which words have been omitted. Those are just a few small things that have evolved. But why? Why is it okay for the church to change what they want based on who? It’s okay for us to eat pork but women can’t take birth control to prevent and unwanted child at the current moment in her life? It’s legitimate for God to put sex offender priests on this Earth but it’s not okay for two men or two women to get married? Catholicism as well as many other religions around the world based off of the Bible only pick and choose what to follow and what to believe. The Bible was constructed over an enormous period of time most of which is irrelevant to the evolving world of which God has created. The Bible was made and constructed by primarily men. The Bible has homosexuality, infidelity, murder, and sex. The Bible is the past and as we’ve learned through schooling all of our life; in order to concur our current future we need to LEARN from our history. I am faithful to the Lord and I turn to him in every aspect of my life. I believe in him just as much as someone who preaches for the belief against my opinions. Show love, support equality, and embrace change!
Man, I wish life would give us all a break. I’m blaming it on 2012. If it’s not one thing going wrong, it’s another. And if it’s not myself or a loved one, it’s someone around me that’s going through something tough. We’ve just encountered the second half of a difficult journey that ever so inconveniently decided to pop up at one of the worst times. Even though I’m scared and worried, I’m holding my head high. Strength is something that I feel I’ve acquired more and more over the course of this year and I need to put it to good use. Everything happens for a reason and all we can do is to let go and let God. I need to keep my heart strong and my perseverance raving for my sake and the ones around me.
I will not let you fall, fail, or give up. I have enough strength and perseverance in my soul for the both of us. One day and one step at a time will get anyone through the worst of times in the lives that we are dealt with.
I have the most honest, raw, beautiful, amazing, incredible brother any girl could ever ask for. Nick GordonFast you are an absolute angel sent from Heaven and it’s an incredible honor that I know you as well as I do. I love you, you are worth it, and you are capable of the most amazing things imaginable.
Life is so hard, love is even harder. This kid is one of the most important people in my life. Actually, he probably tops this list. Love concours all, I am proof and belive in it whole-heartedly.
I love you, Nick.
I love you, Nick.
– Nightgowns – Bunny Hill – Hawks – Rail Road Short Cut – M&K Takeout – Quilts – Painting Fabric – Painting G’mas Toenails – Holly Hocks – Scrabble – Rummy – Swimming – Docks – The Fosters – Fishing with Dad – Uncle Troy – St. Marys – Pow-Wows – Guardian Lions – Guardian Angels – Weird Neighbors – Roll Out Garden – Grandma – Campbells Soup – Daisy Gardens – Crazy Dayz – Ben Franklin – 1 Cent Tootsies – Casino – Sand – Beach – Trading Post – Buoy – Big Waves – Cigarettes – Coffee – Croquet – Dressing Up – Yellow Brick Road – Pollyanna – Santa Claus – Doll Houses – Fire Crackers – Family – Life – Red – Nut Cracker – Vonnie – Donna – Madonna – VHS – Paper Dolls – Angels – Halloween – Bees – Isabella – Skinned Knees – Sidewalk Chalk – Monopoly – Potato Salad – Fudge Frosting – Jed and Joyce – Marvins – Flowers – Swimming – Unc’s Plays – Braids – Mickey Mouse – Wallpapered Doors – Black and White Tile – Dorothy – Smoke – Laughing – Flood – Crab Apples – Everything Happy
Mom, Nick. Logan, Channing, and I went up to Warroad to see Grandma Rita yesterday. I’m so happy that we all were able to go. I love seeing her. Everything on the way there made me think of the best of times, so many memories, so many unforgotten things. I was amazed at what I remembered about every little area of the town. Just being at Grandmas made my entire week, I wish we all didn’t live so far away.