So, I’ve been working on finding motivating things to get me going; to get me happy and healthy. I think I’ve found it! Heels. Really, heels?
I don’t really go shopping much for a few different reasons. There’s the obvious, I’m broke and than there is the still obvious but not so prominent; nothing fits. But you know what always fits? Shoes. I went to Payless on an outing with my mom yesterday and tried on about five pairs of heels. Now, keep in mind, I don’t “do” heels. Never have and said I never will but I think that may change. I loved them!!
I probably look like a tom-boy trying to walk in them but I love the way they look in the mirror. From the bottom up, heels look sophisticated. They show confidence and a sense of sexuality.
|Heels I fell In Love With – Payless
Even though I loved the way they looked, I realized that I kind of look silly wearing them with my body frame and I don’t think I’d want to fall down in them looking the way I do. So this morning, I went through my magazines and cut-out about twenty pairs of heels and models wearing them. I want to wear them and feel as confident and beautiful as the people in the photos. I’m not foolish. I’m not going to aim to look like those models. I have no desire to do that. To be honest, most of them look scary skinny and I have no need in the world to reach for something like that. I want to feel beautiful and to feel beautiful; I need to gain confidence in my appearance again.
So here’s to something to reach for; high heels!
So, I’ve submitted my application to the University of North Dakota. The only way I will be able to attend school in the Spring is if I am able to receive what I need for financial aid. Obviously, I will need enough to cover tuition but I will also need to get a substantial amount to pay my everyday living expenses; primarily including my bills: rent, car insurance, cell phone, car loan, ect. But am I able to get that? I am a little worried because when I went to NCTC, I didn’t get a check in the mail and extra money to spend. It all happened behind the scenes; I was approved for financial aid and the institution sent the money to Northland and that was that. I hear all the time of how students receive a lump sum and it is their duty to go and pay the tuition and the remainder is for personal expenditures which in my case will be solely bills. I’ve just started my journey and haven’t looked into grants and scholarships yet but if (hopefully WHEN) I get accepted, than I will start from there and move forward.
I also am in the research stage of declaring a major. I have obtained my two year Associates Degree in Liberal Arts and Sciences a few years ago and am still bummed to this day that I didn’t know what I wanted to be so I could have went on for another few years of college. No one should be to blame but myself but I do blame some of the school advisers both in High School and College for reasons that I’ll save for another time. My four areas of interest are Early Childhood Development, Elementary Education, Psychology, and Social Work. Over the next few weeks and months I hope that I am able to finalize my decision because all areas are highly motivating to me. Right now, I’m working on the statistics of salary verses job demand verses growth. Once I have that down I will need to decide if I want to help children (Early Childhood/Elementary), Teenagers (Social Work/Psychology), or Adults (Social Work/Psychology).
In the meantime, I will be going back to a previous job as I miss and loved it there. I will be able to spend most of my days with children and helping them to grow. I also think that going back into the setting will help me with my decision making. I’m very blessed and excited to get back into the swing of things!
So far, March has been difficult. I don’t have a reason or excuse; I just need a kick in the ass and to be put back on track. I have an appointment tomorrow with a trainer at the gym to sign up and I think that’ll make a huge difference and HOPEFULLY will be a turning point in my New You, New Year lifestyle.
New You March Resolutions:
1 – Join a gym
2 – Stop buying food at work
3 – Make candy/chips a “treat”
I’m a little late on this months list; I should make being on time a resolution! I must say that February’s list was pretty challenging but I’m still doing everything that I can to keep on track. My largest challenge has been trying to cut out my Mountain Dew addiction. Throughout last month tons of overtime and early morning Saturdays took up a majority of my time which led to dose after dose of caffeine. When I look back on the month, I went more days without pop than I did with pop but it still is disappointing knowing that I couldn’t stick to it as much as I had wished. However, I’ve been doing great with eating breakfast at home and incorporating more fruits and vegis into my diet. I’m also doing awesome with January’s goals as well! I don’t weigh myself as I’ve learned through the giant yo-yo of life that it’s more depressing than anything to not see a scale move and if it does; it tends to be up rather than down. BUT, I have noticed that I feel alot better about myself and have had way more energy, especially in the morning!