25 Hours & 7 Minutes.

My patience is absolutely fried. I’m so overly excited to being doing something different next week that I can’t hardly stand it! And on the other hand, I can’t wait until I get back to normal because some things in my day-to-day life definitely need to be addressed pronto. Friday at 5:01 can’t come soon enough. Cheers to me!

C’est la vie.

I know when people talk about me. Although, I’d like to be one of those strong individuals that say they don’t give a shit what people say, I’m not one of them. I do give a shit. It’s weird. I can’t really explain it. You’ll hear that so and so thinks someone is talking about them but it’s all in their head. They’re just being silly. It’s like some kind of intuitive feeling. Like a disgusting knot that can’t be undone in the pit of my stomach. It’s the feeling you get when something bad is going to happen or when you lie and feel guilty about it. That feeling. That’s the feeling I get when I know. Call me silly if you must but if you don’t have that sense, than I guess you just can’t relate.

I never know what it’s about though. I’m not psychic or anything. It could be about anything. Maybe I was a bitch yesterday or why I’m so quiet today. It could be about my sloppy choice of clothes because I just didn’t give a fuck this morning. Maybe I smell because not giving a fuck in the morning clearly starts with no shower. Maybe I give off a bad vibe. Who knows.

Regardless, it’s frustrating. I’m no saint. I talk shit too. We all do. But when it’s you, it just seems to sting a little worse. Bummer, huh.

Next thought.

There are certain people who I want to say I “deal” with on a daily basis. Sometimes it’s just too much. It’s really a frustrating experience being one of a few people who actually “get it.” Who really understand what has to be done, how it has to be done, and when. And when you’re metaphorically forced to shift your day around a person that just simply is incapable of meeting your intellectual standards, it really fucking blows.

There are so many ill-noted things I could say right now that I just want to scream. I hate having such bitchy and catty thoughts in my head. I honestly consider myself a nice person. I care about the people in my life. I help where and when needed. I do my best when it comes to my job and my home-life. Yet, when people other than me are faced with the same situations and are either incapable of doing them just as good and just as correct or just as timely as me, than I form some kind of anger towards said person. There are times that I just want to grab people by their shoulders and shake them. Yelling at them over and over asking them if they are fucking retarded.

And if you’re going to have an issue with my use of retarded than you can shut this down right now. If you’re from America and you speak English, you should know by now that there are many words with multiples meanings. When I say that I’m a very anal person. You wouldn’t jump to thinking that I enjoy receiving anal would you? It means I’m anal-retentive.

The same goes with the words gay, retarded, and tear. In the case where I first mentioned the “R” word about a paragraph and a half ago, if you chose to set aside your sensitive feelings, you know I was referring to someone who is more than stupid. Someone that is more than dumb. I suppose I could have used such words as senseless or simple-minded but sometimes when you’re about ready to collapse in tears, you should be able to use the words that come to your mind.

I wasn’t, as some of you may be offended by, referring to a mentally handicapped person. Can we continue now?

What it comes down to is enough should be enough. If I had the authority and balls, I would make some changes that involve my day-to-day life. Granted I am making a few personal changes which feel great but there are aspects, as we all have day-to-day, that we are not in control of.

It’s funny really. It’s funny how people can get away with so much. How one person can commit a terrible crime and gets away with it while the victim gets tossed hand over foot through the legal system getting fucked in the ass by the state. It’s hilarious how people can get away with the bare minimum and slide through write-ups. Giggling away and thinking they are doing a good job when any blind person can see that in fact, they are not.

That’s life I guess. As unfair as it’ll always be.

I Need To Find My Zen.

The day is young and I can already tell it’s going to be a long one. A day where I will have to constantly hold my tongue to ensure that I don’t give someone a piece of my mind in their pity-seeking lives.

It started off optimistic. I hit snooze twice but you’ll be glad to hear that I did get up and stretch for about 15 minutes. I wouldn’t call it yoga because I don’t think that I have the patience for yoga but that 15 minutes is more than I’ve accomplished in quite some time. I will shoot for doing “more” tomorrow. And since it’s nice out today, I’d like to head to one of the area parks, camera in tow and see what I can find.

But that’s really as far as the positivity chose to shine in the little world of mine. We waited for 45 minutes before my significant others co-worker decided to show up and unlock the door. Yay me for putting on extra perfume and deodorant today. Gross.

We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world. – Helen Keller

On my way to work some long stockinged (it’s a word today) cap hippy decided that he was superior and didn’t have to follow cross walk signs. Seriously, the “stocking cap” was literally down to his ankles. He looked like a fool. I had the green and he had the universal hand which in case your an imbecile pedestrian reading this – it means to stop. Check for traffic at the absolute minimum but nevertheless, stop. Thank God I didn’t run into him but his profanities and notorious middle finger were more annoying rather than anything. Really, fuck me? Fuck you for being illiterate.

And since then, there’s a situation that is unavoidable in my day to day that I just can’t stand. I don’t really care about this persons predicament at all which probably makes me an asshole but if you make my life more difficult than it really needs to be, chances are, I’m not a fan of yours. Suck it up, people have been through the same shit and they don’t seek pity twenty-four Goddamn seven.

zen21If my mom were sitting right next to me, she would tell me something along the lines of: “You are in charge of your own happiness. It’s your choice to be crabby today.” She’s right, like always. But man people sure make it difficult to brush off.

Here’s to the next 7 hours of sanity, positive thinking, and not letting other people’s problems phase me. How’s your day?

Happiness, like unhappiness, is a proactive choice. – Stephen Covey

Somethin’ About Nothin’.

Another sprained ankle? What a way to start the day, huh. Everyone has a weak something. Sometimes it’s a knee or even their backbone but mine is my ankles. I’ve had issues with them ever since I fractured both within one basketball season way back in 6th grade. Ever since, if I ever trip, slip, bump, or fall; it’s my ankle that pays the price. Way to go, Ori. Way. To. Go.

On another note, I’ve been putting it off but last night I finally ordered a new shipment of Shakeology. I ordered some quite some time ago and finally finished it after the usual off and on struggle with being motivated enough to get healthy or not. As I struggled for a long time to maintain a steady routine; I haven’t necessarily noticed any weight loss. Which, at this point is okay because I need to work on it for more than a couple weeks at a time.

Regardless, my primary reason for re-ordering wasn’t for the added bonus of weight loss when paired with exercise. It was because it makes me feel good. The nutrients in the formula give me more energy than any bad for you can of Mountain Dew.

Another couple of fantastic things happened all within one day. Both my boyfriend and youngest brother got word of new jobs in their very near future. Congrats to them both!!

So what’s new in your life blogosphere peeps? I hate when people say “peeps” especially out loud. Stop.

“I TRIPLE-Dog-Dare Ya!”

water in back

So, I finished editing photos for my brothers senior pictures and the proofs are printed. I’ll be going home this weekend to show them to my mom and brother so they can decide on the ones they like. I wonder if artists are the most critical of critics when it comes to their own work. Like I said before, when it comes to taking photographs of people, I’m definitely an amateur and I really don’t know if my opinion of the final results are very high. You be the judge.

bw 2014

On another note, I’ve been very actively practicing patience. Overall, I’m a pretty patient person in most situations. But with the stress of life over the last few months, my patience has been on the back burner because quite frankly, I just don’t have time for that. In turn, the obvious reaction was held in stress. I’m tired of that. So the last couple days, I’ve been taking a deep breath and moving forward. I can definitely tell when I’m trying to be more patient in comparison to just doing things myself and keeping it bottled up. It really does feel good.

Did you hear that once again schools were either two hours late or cancelled? Can you say ridiculous?! I made the mistake of posting a status about it on Facebook and a couple of pansies got flustered. Quite some time ago, I decided to withdraw my Facebook presence and put it more towards Twitter. I have so many co-workers, family, old friends, and judgmental people on my Facebook just like I’m sure everyone else does. It’s pretty silly really; how bent out of shape people get. No one ever says anything on positive, uplifting statuses but the second someone makes a valid point, everyone cries. I respect the value of an opinion, believe me, I’m the queen of opinions but the ignorance of some people is just appalling. I don’t see it often anymore because I hardly put “statuses” on FB but people are so confrontational. It just makes them look stupid.

As I am a very opinionated person, I too, have a mouth full to say but I don’t. I try my best to keep it to myself because I’m not looking for a fight, I just simply have things to say. Not because I don’t want to be heard but quite frankly, most of the arguments that would arise wouldn’t be worth my time. So many people (myself probably included at times) are uneducated. For example, my “issue” resulting in today’s post was really just saying that as a general whole, us (i.e Minnesotans and North Dakotans) can’t really claim to be rough, tough, Viking warriors anymore because as soon as a flake is in the sky or the temperature dips below 0, everyone runs and hides. That’s it. I didn’t “bash” anyone, I was just saying.

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Today, many schools were cancelled for the millionth time this winter-y season because of a blizzard. What blizzard? Sure, country roads were probably crudy but aren’t they always? My entire life, I lived in the country so I’m not some ignorant city girl that can’t comprehend the consequences of a blizzard. But did they really need to cancel school in the city of Grand Forks? Tell me, what percentage of kids actually live in the country, the real country? Not across town or three miles out. I’m talking the 20-minute, probably dangerous drive? Few. So, why the hell was school cancelled? Everyone that had the “balls” to go out of their house today had to have laughed until they cried. The roads and visibility were fine. Typical middle of January weather.

christmas story

Kids these days will be lucky if they survive the real world. Not only are they being taught to pull over when it sprinkles out but they aren’t even going to get quality education much longer. I don’t think we even had a snow day in the last three years that I was in high school. I know, I know, I’m not a mom. I don’t understand, whatever. In cases like today, parents should just use their own discretion when sending their children to school. If it was really going to be a treacherous drive than fine, stay home. But if you have any common sense, you’d know how to bundle your children up for winter just like “A Christmas Story.”

Lets stop wussing out people.