So, this post may or may not come off as extremely negative but trust me, I’m in more of a “realistic” frame of mind as I type this so think of it as such. I come across random articles all the time while scrolling my Facebook feed. I either agree with them or I don’t. Some are actually pretty awesome and I learn something and others..well they make me roll my eyes.
Today, I’m going to break apart an obnoxious article that I came across. The title? How To Seduce Your Husband Daily. If you haven’t already gagged, this might not be the post for you. And if you have, then we should become friends.
Below, I have simply copied and pasted the bulk of the article and in my own description (in red) given you the realistic analysis if you take their advice. (Disclaimer: Obviously this is a combination of personal experience and my observation of other relationships but I really think it’s more realistic than the “ideal” bullshit advice given below)
How To Seduce Your Husband Daily:
- The daily smile, the everlasting receiving smile. When he comes home, smile at him and ask him about his day. Because a smile and a blank statement will brighten his mood after a long, sweaty day. No. Read his body language. If he’s your one true love like you claim, you should be able to tell if he’s had a tough day or a good one. Go from there. Don’t ask him how his day was when CLEARLY it was full of shit.
- Always try to kiss him daily, kiss him passionately or “make-out” and make it an important part of your marriage. Oh, okay. Because a slobbery make-out sesh is a dream come true for the guy. Maybe in the lust stage of a relationship. I like kisses just as much as the next girl but press pause on the make-out wagon. Anyone who has gotten past their drunken college years doesn’t have time for a mouthful of spit.
- Send loving text messages, emails, and so on. “I love you very much” “Have a great day.” Let your heart guide you on what to say. This one actually isn’t too bad. It’s probably the only one I agree with in this list. Keep in touch throughout the day if you can. It makes sense. That way you’ll actually have an idea of what’s going on rather than resorting to the stupid #1 POA.
- Try to always have meals together. Make this something that is sacred in your life. Sacred? I think that’s a little overkill. It’s nice to have meals together, sure. But is it realistic when your work schedules don’t mesh up? I’d much rather snuggle on the couch after a long day than eat across the table silently because casual dinner conversation is something you need to plan for.
- Don’t limit makeup or using perfume for certain days, like when you go out, or when you go to parties. Do this for him on any day, even if you are going to stay at home and just watch a movie together. “Do this for him?” Sadly, I’ve actually met people who “do this for him.” Dress up, wear perfume, look good…for yourself. Why do you need his approval? There’s no reason to get all fancy and uncomfortable just to watch a movie at home. And besides, your “husband” should love you JUST AS MUCH regardless of how much fucking makeup you put on or don’t.
- Walking around holding hands, hugging, and always maintaining physical contact is essential to all of this. Have you ever walked and held hands? It’s not very natural. I think holding hands, physical contact, hugging, ect is a good thing. I love it. But it doesn’t need to be forced and constant. Always touching is super needy and makes others choke when they are trying to remember to breathe. Keep PDA to the bedroom and goodbyes.
- One thing that you cannot forget to do, or to keep off your list of “things to do to seduce your husband” is know how to (and doing it) make his favorite meal. I actually think this one is kind of funny. I like to cook so I do like to make my S.O. his favorite meal every once in a blue moon but you know what? He enjoys making his own favorite meal much more. It’s like an exciting job that he knows he can excel at. So I wonder why this one is so important that it just had to make the list?
Before anyone overreacts, I firmly believe in keeping each other happy. From my own experience, relationships aren’t easy and they will never be as picture perfect as this original article seems to think.
On a side note, the article makes the following statement: “When we are married, our daily routine becomes an enemy in our lives.” Bologna. I’m not married but I have been with my S.O. for over 6 years. When we DO get married, nothing is really going to change other than a last name and a bank account. Why would anything else change? Why would you get married to someone that you don’t know? That’s why I’ll never get it when people meet, date, and get married in less than a years time. Heck even less than 2 years. WHY? I don’t think I truly, actually, fully knew my boyfriend until year mid-way through our 4th year of dating. And just because we are still together and made it through all the things we’ve been through doesn’t mean that everyone would have.
Tough times made us much stronger individually and as a couple but that same strength could have easily been the end to our relationship just like any other. Let life be boring once in awhile. Impressing each other day after day has got to be exhausting. Love each other for who they are and if you can’t..than you are with the wrong person.
No wonder the divorce rate is high. Get to know your partners people. There is no reason to dive blindly into something that you don’t have the proper walking cane for.