Analysis On: How To Seduce Your Husband Daily.

So, this post may or may not come off as extremely negative but trust me, I’m in more of a “realistic” frame of mind as I type this so think of it as such. I come across random articles all the time while scrolling my Facebook feed. I either agree with them or I don’t. Some are actually pretty awesome and I learn something and others..well they make me roll my eyes.

Today, I’m going to break apart an obnoxious article that I came across. The title? How To Seduce Your Husband Daily. If you haven’t already gagged, this might not be the post for you. And if you have, then we should become friends.

Below, I have simply copied and pasted the bulk of the article and in my own description (in red) given you the realistic analysis if you take their advice. (Disclaimer: Obviously this is a combination of personal experience and my observation of other relationships but I really think it’s more realistic than the “ideal” bullshit advice given below)

How To Seduce Your Husband Daily:

  1. The daily smile, the everlasting receiving smile. When he comes home, smile at him and ask him about his day. Because a smile and a blank statement will brighten his mood after a long, sweaty day. No. Read his body language. If he’s your one true love like you claim, you should be able to tell if he’s had a tough day or a good one. Go from there. Don’t ask him how his day was when CLEARLY it was full of shit. 
  2. Always try to kiss him daily, kiss him passionately or “make-out” and make it an important part of your marriage. Oh, okay. Because a slobbery make-out sesh is a dream come true for the guy. Maybe in the lust stage of a relationship. I like kisses just as much as the next girl but press pause on the make-out wagon. Anyone who has gotten past their drunken college years doesn’t have time for a mouthful of spit.
  3. Send loving text messages, emails, and so on. “I love you very much” “Have a great day.” Let your heart guide you on what to say. This one actually isn’t too bad. It’s probably the only one I agree with in this list. Keep in touch throughout the day if you can. It makes sense. That way you’ll actually have an idea of what’s going on rather than resorting to the stupid #1 POA.
  4. Try to always have meals together. Make this something that is sacred in your life. Sacred? I think that’s a little overkill. It’s nice to have meals together, sure. But is it realistic when your work schedules don’t mesh up? I’d much rather snuggle on the couch after a long day than eat across the table silently because casual dinner conversation is something you need to plan for.
  5. Don’t limit makeup or using perfume for certain days, like when you go out, or when you go to parties. Do this for him on any day, even if you are going to stay at home and just watch a movie together. “Do this for him?” Sadly, I’ve actually met people who “do this for him.” Dress up, wear perfume, look good…for yourself. Why do you need his approval? There’s no reason to get all fancy and uncomfortable just to watch a movie at home. And besides, your “husband” should love you JUST AS MUCH regardless of how much fucking makeup you put on or don’t. 
  6. Walking around holding hands, hugging, and always maintaining physical contact is essential to all of this. Have you ever walked and held hands? It’s not very natural. I think holding hands, physical contact, hugging, ect is a good thing. I love it. But it doesn’t need to be forced and constant. Always touching is super needy and makes others choke when they are trying to remember to breathe. Keep PDA to the bedroom and goodbyes. 
  7. One thing that you cannot forget to do, or to keep off your list of “things to do to seduce your husband” is know how to (and doing it) make his favorite meal. I actually think this one is kind of funny. I like to cook so I do like to make my S.O. his favorite meal every once in a blue moon but you know what? He enjoys making his own favorite meal much more. It’s like an exciting job that he knows he can excel at. So I wonder why this one is so important that it just had to make the list?

Before anyone overreacts, I firmly believe in keeping each other happy. From my own experience, relationships aren’t easy and they will never be as picture perfect as this original article seems to think.

On a side note, the article makes the following statement: “When we are married, our daily routine becomes an enemy in our lives.” Bologna. I’m not married but I have been with my S.O. for over 6 years. When we DO get married, nothing is really going to change other than a last name and a bank account. Why would anything else change? Why would you get married to someone that you don’t know? That’s why I’ll never get it when people meet, date, and get married in less than a years time. Heck even less than 2 years. WHY? I don’t think I truly, actually, fully knew my boyfriend until year mid-way through our 4th year of dating. And just because we are still together and made it through all the things we’ve been through doesn’t mean that everyone would have.

Tough times made us much stronger individually and as a couple but that same strength could have easily been the end to our relationship just like any other. Let life be boring once in awhile. Impressing each other day after day has got to be exhausting. Love each other for who they are and if you can’t..than you are with the wrong person.

No wonder the divorce rate is high. Get to know your partners people. There is no reason to dive blindly into something that you don’t have the proper walking cane for.

“Life is very long.” -T.S. Elliot.

“..Not the first person to say it, certainly not the first person to think it. But he’s given credit for it because he bothered to write it down. So if you say it, you have to say his name after it. “Life is very long.” – T.S. Eliot. Absolutely god damn right..” – August: Osage County

unnamed

If you’ve been keeping up with me; I’ve been dipping my toes into a couple different artistic pools lately. I’m kind of trying to find something that I’m good at and enjoy doing so I can make a hobby out of it. I’m working on my fourth scarf (pink/grey/white/black) and a few posts ago, I had shown off the 52-week money boxes that I made for my mom and I.

SO, since then, a co-worker had asked if I’d be able to put together some sort of baby shower card holder box type thing. I figured, might as well! Funny thing is, I didn’t realize how challenging it’d be in comparison to other little projects I’ve done. The only inspiration I had to go with was that the mother is expecting a girl and a photo of a chair they’d purchased for the room. Initially, I assumed it’d be a little boy given the blue and orange (right?) but man was I wrong! I think it turned out pretty good though and an added a touch of little girl with the flowers brought it together but we’ll see tomorrow when I bring it to work!

IMG_4366

It didn’t take too terribly long to make but I worked with materials that I wasn’t used to and had a couple mishaps trying to figure out how to bond one material to another. All is well though. I think it looks pretty good and it is made for it’s intended use. My co-worker asked that it be dual purpose so the expecting couple can use it somehow in their nursery and I think I did just that. Check out the finished project here and give me some feedback.

In other news – My mom and I went to a few movies this past Saturday. They were the exact definition of polar opposite. I’m not going to give too much of a run down because I’ve never been good as summarizing movies or books or even my day but here’s the gist..

We first went to “August: Osage County” and the best word to describe it would be phenomenal! It was such a true, raw, and moving film that it could be relatable to so many different people on so many different levels. I was surprised to find out come Sunday night that they had very few Golden Globe nominations and weren’t even given the honor of winning. Regardless, it was by far one of the best movies that I’ve seen in a long time. I only wish that I would have read the book prior to seeing the movie but it’ll be added to my bucket list.

On the other side of the spectrum was the film “Her.” Now, I get it, I do. I understand the movie but it was torture to sit though, my God. The first half of the movie – I was engaged and waiting for something to happen but after that, it was just plain painful. And to top it off, a Golden Globe win? Excuse me, but what the fuck? Who in their right mind was elected to nominate this year? The best movie got zilch and the worst was praised? Give me a break.

A Blizzard In The Forecast.

It’s going to take some getting used to; to blog every day but I’m up for the challenge. It’s not that I didn’t want to tonight but I’ve been so busy this week and the minutes, hours, and days just fly by. I’d much rather have continued laying on the couch watching 20/20 like a lump of sugar than turning on the computer. But I did it anyways.

I pushed through pure, selfish laziness to write because that was my goal. My goal to dig into my deep creativity pockets. Find a lint ball or two of whimsical paragraphs just so I can criticize it and edit it three days from now. That’s what goals are for though, aren’t they? To try and try again?

Fridays are the busiest days in the life of Ori. I try to embrace it though. I think it’s exciting to be doing something all the time. One thing after another overlapping throughout the day is a challenge and I chase after challenge in my career. It makes me work harder and more efficiently. Definitely a good life lesson and learning tool for those that are up for it.

Anyways, I bought some more yarn  after work today and intend on  making a dent in my spools this  weekend considering I plan on  being snowed in until Sunday given  the weather forecast.

I’ve been trying to decide what I’ve done today that’s different from the day before and nothing really is popping out but I’m making sure to be more aware. More aware of the people and things that go on around me. All too often I find myself getting frustrated at small things that don’t hold enough energy to make a fuss over. I’ll have to admit that it might be a tish of a perfectionist problem. I’m so used to everything being the specific perfect way that I do it. No exceptions. Maybe it’s a mix of that and OCD. Who knows.

Nevertheless, I made a point of being more aware of others. Reading facial expressions and the tone of their voice. I did more for people than I usually would simply because I was capable of doing so. To be honest but not arrogant, I usually do feel that I go out of my way to exercise my ability to help out everyone around me but when I’m rushed on time or stressed out about this or that, that instinct ability to assist, blurs.

It’s a good feeling though, going out of your way to help more and do more than expected. It makes a person feel reassured in the spot or area of their lives that they are in.

Another goal added my ongoing list (this for some reason reminds me of Dumbledores Army and the parchment it was written on) is to appreciate my loved ones on a more deeper level. I love my family, we all have a great relationship with one another and I’d do absolutely anything for every single one of them but I often feel that I should be present on a more frequent basis. Visit my grandparents, bring my mom out to dinner and a movie, or see how my dad’s travels are going more often than I do.

I encourage everyone reading this to be more aware of their surroundings especially in a time of fret or hassle. Breathe before you stress out. Think before you talk. And most importantly know that this too shall pass.