Mental Progress.

The old me would have binge ate all day today. But the new me has easily stuck to the healthy food that I purposely brought to work to eat. I won’t go into any kind of detail about why but today was a very eventful and stressful day.

As you may or may not know, I made a very serious choice on June 7th and that choice was to get healthy or to die. I’ve been doing very well since then. A couple of bumps like with any choice to get healthy but I’m officially down 22.6 pounds and counting. I hope to hit 25 by my next weigh in.

Before choosing to fight my obesity, I’d eat. I’d eat when I was bored, I’d eat when I was watching TV and I’d eat when I was stressed from a busy day at work or a fight with my boyfriend. I’d eat because Taco Johns was on the way to the grocery store and I’d eat because someone brought food today at the office. My religion was food above all. Above everything.

And really, it still is. The only difference between then and now is that I can control it. When I’m stressed or bored or angry or nothing…I don’t think about eating. Don’t get me wrong, it still happens sometimes. Weekends are the toughest. But I’ve gained some self-control.

3 months ago if I had a morning like today, I would have went to Hardees for lunch and then stopped at Holiday before my break was over to get a pop and a candy bar. After the afternoon I’ve had, I would have hit up McDonald’s on the way home and stuff my face before getting out of the parking to have supper with my boyfriend an hour later. Which also involved eating out about 75% of the time.

So what am I going to do to deal with today’s stress levels? I’m going to go for a long walk tonight. I wish I could go now actually. My energy is pumping and I want to be moving. I want to sweat out the annoyances and responsibilities of the day rather than hold them in by giving my heart a reason to clock out once it hits a pool of grease.

I’m no where near perfect in my choices or my physique. Imagining my goal is too hard to do at this point because it’s so far away but after a day like today, I’ve really been able to see just how far I really have come. I don’t always see progress in the mirror or even on the scale but noticing progress of the mind is one of the best signs of a positive journey that I’ve gotten to experience this far.

I know you hear this all the time by anyone that’s ever lost weight in the history of fat people but seriously, if I can make serious can you. You’re worth it.

The 45th Day Of The Year.

I’m a little behind on the Valentine’s Day buzz but I figured it’d still be worth it to post. I’ve actually been noticing that I think of perfect blog ideas when I’m most busy which undoubtedly leads me to forgetting about it until later. In this case, five days later.


Up to the days leading to the big VD, I found myself getting into a frenzy making sure to “remind” my boyfriend of the day and it’s importance. I also (like a psycho) looked at engagement rings on all the big sites and through the stores around town. WHY do I do that to myself? Of course, I dream of romance and would love a ring on my finger…someday. But what is it about the pink heart filled month that steers me right into the cliche of February the 14th?

I guess it’s society’s fault. Some females would rather an engagement happen spontaneously on some random day but I’m a little old fashioned and have always dreamt of a man on his knee a month an a half into the New Year. I’ll probably always dream of it and fantasize every year and it’ll probably never happen but that’s life right?


Whenever it does happen I’ll obviously be more than thrilled but it almost irritates me that somehow, somewhere along the way the thought of Valentine’s day leads to so many unrealistic expectations of the men (or women) in our lives.

And flowers! Don’t even get me started on flowers. Every year I tell myself that: 1. I’m not getting flowers. Channing isn’t the “flower” type. And…2. What a waste of money. Why spend $40-$100 on something that is going to die in a matter of days. Well, I guess they could last two weeks if you pop some little blue pills into it’s water (which actually is a fact, thank you Discovery Channel) but who has those lying around? Definitely not a 27 year old. Dun dun dun!

I should add that I had a lovely Valentines evening. We went to dinner at our favorite pizza joint in town and grabbed a movie afterwards. Even though I didn’t “get” a ring or flowers, I was still adorned and gave lots of hugs, kisses, and ‘I love yous.’ That’s what matters most.

Happy 4 days later, everyone!