How Long Is Too Long?

I’ve noticed more and more women of the last few generations including mine are deciding to be stay-at-home moms. Heck, if I had the opportunity, I would probably opt to be a stay-at-home mom myself. In saying that, I mean it in the sense that if I had children and if my significant other made enough for my family to be content and well off without extra income I’d do it too.

Up until recently, I thought that’s what a stay-at-home mom was. She stay at home with the children. But how can you claim to be a stay-at-home mom when all your kids are in school? Literal terminology I guess. Or laziness. Or talentless.

Don’t shit your pants. I know you’re not lazy or talentless. You clean the house, you cook the food, you plan the vacations and activities, you help with homework, buy groceries, you do it all. You’re Wonder Woman but so is every other mom.

What’s the point of staying at home when your kids are absent from the home during the hours of 7:30 – 4:00? So you can what? See them off to school and pick them up after? What do you do in between? Watch soap operas and do a load of clothes? Bullshit.

MjAxMy01MmU5NDI2ZmYzNTU1MGRjI’m not hating on the stereotype because like I said, if I were in the position to stay at home with my babies, I would jump all over that shit but that’s not ever going to happen for one. And two, I wouldn’t abuse it like drunks abuse welfare. I’ve simply seen a rise in stay-at-home moms beyond the age of 5 or 6 and in the most simple sense, don’t get it.

The daycare costs alone are what I’m assuming is the most alluring point of interest into making that kind of decision. Great way of thinking, I agree. Getting to spend time with your children, teaching them the way you want them to be taught, ensuring that they are in good care, breathing while they nap, ect. All great points.

The biggest downfall I think we run into with the stay-at-home mom force is interaction with other children. I worked in a daycare for about a year and a half and interaction in the infant to toddler age range is crucial for social development. As long as you make it a necessity to have play dates with other children and/or enroll them in similar programs (mommy & me, gymnastics, water park, ect) your choice in staying at home will prove to be triumphant.

But we’re getting off track as to where this was going. Beyond the wonder years, beyond the first. We know all the positives and negatives about staying at home, raising them yourself. I’ve done research on some of it and I’ve concluded that if it’s for you and you can afford it, go for it. More power to you.

But there should be a line. And that line is kindergarten. Once your child(ren) gets enrolled into some kind of educational system that is set to a consistent 6.5 to 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. It’s time for you to move on and do something with your life.

807a68b1596840bbbcfa7f8e0f08e0b960Why in the hell would you want to stay at home every day to do nothing? The ONLY downfall of going back to work would be not being home right when they get off the bus. But in the age that we are in, there are after school programs, and an hour in daycare (if needed) isn’t going to kill them or your pocketbook.

You can join the rest of us and do you laundry while you’re waiting for supper in the oven. Or better yet, teach your children how to do the dishes and sweep the floors. Give them work to do or they’ll be helpless by age 18. The earlier you instill little chores, the less likely they will resist. Make it fun, don’t bribe them to do it. Teach the importance of it.

Staying at home during the primary grades and beyond is just an excuse. It’s an excuse to close your mind to the world. It’s an excuse to avoid social situations and most of all it’s showing your little girls (if you are blessed to have one) that they don’t have a role model to look up to because you’re just a housewife.

I’m not just being some crazy jealous “I want to be a stay-at-home mom” women here. If I were in your position and my children were off at school. I’d focus on what I love to do. I’d pursue photography. Work my way into circles of graduating seniors or other families I know to build a clientele. With the arrival of Pintrest into our world wide web of ideas, I’d love to live my life antiquing and making projects out of my finds to sell on etsy and eBay. I’d work or volunteer a few hours here and there at a local craft shop, art gallery, or humane society in town.

I’d be a “work-at-home-do-anything-and-everything” mom. What about you?

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What’s Your More?

I’ve been reading previews of the last chunk of posts I’ve published and some that I haven’t. I also briefly summarized through some of the posts from my old blog and I’m finding one common denominator. I have been saying over and over and over for the last 2 1/2 years the same 4 things:

1. Should I go back to school? What for? When? Will it pay off? 
2. I desperately need and want to get healthy. Join a gym, eat better, be active. 
3. I love reading and writing. And I love looking at and taking photographs.
4. I feel like I’m stuck and I don’t know which way to go because I have my own set of hurdles (mainly listed above) which is preventing me from taking the next step forward.

So, until I figure out when and where to actually go from here; I’m promising myself only one thing. I promise to do “more” of something that I love or want to do each day. It could be anything from taking a drive to the middle of nowhere and snapping some pictures. It could involve starting and actually finishing a good book. GOING to the fucking gym. I could look into taking some photo editing classes or finally reach out to an old friend and join a pottery club.

Whatever it may be, I have to start now. I can’t keep wishing and hoping and dreaming expecting a light-bulb to flash on top of my head like some kind of cartoon. I’m in charge of my own life and my own happiness. Just sitting on the idea of great things isn’t going to make any of them happen.

In order to validate or prove my “more of something” daily; I’ll either post about it on here or you can follow me on twitter to keep updated. I challenge each and every one of you to do the same thing. Do whatever you want. It could be as simple as researching for your next vacation getaway. Or calling your grandma that you haven’t seen since last summer. There is no telling when our mortality will run out so those of us sitting on our asses every night really should start making memories even if they only pose happiness for a brief moment. 

It’s Tuesday.

I’ve been noticing that the busier I am during the day the more difficult it is for me to find motivation to do things that I’d like to do such as blogging and crocheting. It’s not that I don’t have time, but I feel so warn out after a long day that I just want to veg on the couch. I’m trying to get out of that slump tonight buy forcing myself on the computer which is funny because so often we try to disconnect from the world wide web.

I’ve been tuning into the Olympics since they debuted on Friday night. I’m not totally up to date on all the big names and who are the Olympic favorites but I have my own favorite athletes and sports. I love the winter games, they always seem to be more fun than the Summer games and just so graceful. Everything from snowboarding to luge to speed and figure skating. I’m that person that will just sit there, mouth dropped to the floor in awe for hours. I think it’s absolutely outrageous at the talent that some people are born with. Hats off to all of you.

I’ve been writing back and forth to my grandma Darlene for a few years now. We live a little over two hours apart which causes a lack of being able to keep up to date on our day to day lives. It’s crazy how the distance and growing up really separates people. The one thing that we both cherish though, are our letters back and forth. I need and want to make more of a point to write more often. Again, I blame my busy work life for not replying too quickly and I need to quit that. What’s the benefit of just sitting on the couch gluing my eyes to the boob tube every night? Other than being a sitcom critic, probably nothing.

Here’s to the hopes and motivation to continue to do more in the year twenty-fourteen. Tonight, I found joy in buying our nephew his big number three birthday gift, replying to my grandma’s latest letter, and taking the time to blog. What did you do to improve your outlook on life today?

A Blizzard In The Forecast.

It’s going to take some getting used to; to blog every day but I’m up for the challenge. It’s not that I didn’t want to tonight but I’ve been so busy this week and the minutes, hours, and days just fly by. I’d much rather have continued laying on the couch watching 20/20 like a lump of sugar than turning on the computer. But I did it anyways.

I pushed through pure, selfish laziness to write because that was my goal. My goal to dig into my deep creativity pockets. Find a lint ball or two of whimsical paragraphs just so I can criticize it and edit it three days from now. That’s what goals are for though, aren’t they? To try and try again?

Fridays are the busiest days in the life of Ori. I try to embrace it though. I think it’s exciting to be doing something all the time. One thing after another overlapping throughout the day is a challenge and I chase after challenge in my career. It makes me work harder and more efficiently. Definitely a good life lesson and learning tool for those that are up for it.

Anyways, I bought some more yarn  after work today and intend on  making a dent in my spools this  weekend considering I plan on  being snowed in until Sunday given  the weather forecast.

I’ve been trying to decide what I’ve done today that’s different from the day before and nothing really is popping out but I’m making sure to be more aware. More aware of the people and things that go on around me. All too often I find myself getting frustrated at small things that don’t hold enough energy to make a fuss over. I’ll have to admit that it might be a tish of a perfectionist problem. I’m so used to everything being the specific perfect way that I do it. No exceptions. Maybe it’s a mix of that and OCD. Who knows.

Nevertheless, I made a point of being more aware of others. Reading facial expressions and the tone of their voice. I did more for people than I usually would simply because I was capable of doing so. To be honest but not arrogant, I usually do feel that I go out of my way to exercise my ability to help out everyone around me but when I’m rushed on time or stressed out about this or that, that instinct ability to assist, blurs.

It’s a good feeling though, going out of your way to help more and do more than expected. It makes a person feel reassured in the spot or area of their lives that they are in.

Another goal added my ongoing list (this for some reason reminds me of Dumbledores Army and the parchment it was written on) is to appreciate my loved ones on a more deeper level. I love my family, we all have a great relationship with one another and I’d do absolutely anything for every single one of them but I often feel that I should be present on a more frequent basis. Visit my grandparents, bring my mom out to dinner and a movie, or see how my dad’s travels are going more often than I do.

I encourage everyone reading this to be more aware of their surroundings especially in a time of fret or hassle. Breathe before you stress out. Think before you talk. And most importantly know that this too shall pass.