Yesterday You Said Tomorrow.

9979869b8fc798974d85940c3b6f0cbeI’ve been lacking big time on my get healthy mantra. Like really really, lacking. So I decided to turn to Pinterest for some inspiration and motivation. I found a brilliant idea for a meal board and am going to pick up some supplies tonight. I can’t promise I’ll get it together this week but I have no plans for the weekend so I plan to put it together at that time.

On the other side of getting healthy, is fitness. It’s currently obsolete in my world and I have no reason or excuse that is worth coming up with. My gym clothes and shoes are nicely folded right out on the dining room table. I lay down for bed around 10:00 PM (to allow sleep and no I can’t make it any earlier) and I set my alarm for 5:00 AM. Every morning at 5:00 I hit snooze and then snooze again. Again and again and again like a redundant forget me not.

93cc588bc8f6a5c9d43e4a088a74cce5Why 5:00 AM? Well because I have to get my boyfriend to work by 6:30 and we car pool thus preventing me from pushing it off until later in the morning but still before work. And no, I will not go after work. Why would I? When the rush is unbearable and even though you’re in a no judgement zone, people still stare. I see it. Belive me, I see it.

7483a19d1fb8ccb368565aa8ca664e2dNow even though all that bologna sounds like excuses, it’s not. It’s just a summary of the day to day struggle that I find myself in. So tonight, I’ll do the same. I’ll lay down at 10:00. Set my alarm for 5:00. And hope, just hope, that my motivation, inspiration, where I want to be, who I want to be, dreamland of a fantasy will be enough for me to roll out of bed, put on my gym shoes, and get my fat ass to the damn gym.

I’m Through With Excuses.

Where does the time go? Yet again, I’ve been so sucked into my damn phone that I chose to play Candy Crush, creep Facebook, and browse Twitter rather than set all that stuff aside and focus on writing. Why can’t I willingly take a social media break? It’s exhausting. Nothing is really that interesting that I need to continually keep refreshing to see what the next person said about their day or their kid or their job.

Over the last few days or so I thought that I had some pretty decent post ideas but then by the time I was by a computer, I didn’t feel like turning it on. I’m considering investing in an actual desk. Right now, whenever I power up my laptop, I’m sitting on the couch and we all know how awkwardly we have to sit in order to be semi-comfortable and have the laptop carefully positioned so that we can see and type at the same time. Carpal tunnel anyone?

I’ve been saying for sometime now that I need to get my shit together. I’m one of the most perfectionist, motivated driven people you’ll ever meet but when it comes to my own personal, deep down, gut wrenching, life changing goals – I’ll procrastinate and make excuses like none other. The most obvious being to get healthy.

I’ve been re-reading my past posts as a type of motivation but even as I type this I have a gallon jug of water (good) and a Hugo’s doughnut (bad) sitting next to me staring in my face. The last week or so I haven’t eaten breakfast and I’ve felt so cruddy by lunch time that today I decided to chose the doughnut over nothing. Not because I love them because really, they are too sweet and sticky but I didn’t want to have my stomach be gurgling all morning. And yes, I did consciously chose it over a bowl of bland oatmeal.

What’s wrong with me? I know the exact formula it takes to get healthy but it’s not a very fun path is it? Sure, when you hit the milestones you’ll know it’s paying off and hopefully (cross my fingers) it won’t be as much of a challenge to chose oatmeal over a doughnut but we all have to get over that first hump or twelve before we can actually claim to be milestone worthy. Just because I have this [now a third of the way eaten] doughnut in front of me doesn’t mean my day is ruined. I have been consistent with my water intake and have a tuna and peas on toast planned for lunch rather than a McDonald’s maggot filled cheeseburger. Go me!

Update: You’ll be happy to know that I ended up throwing the rest of my doughnut away.