She Got Her Wings.

So much can happen in one year. Some enter this world and some exit. Families are formed and families are torn apart. People are forgiven and people are damaged. Some die and some are born. We travel and we get snowed in. We fall and sometimes we get back up. We change jobs, we move to new cities, and sometimes..we sit still. Sometimes life happens so quickly and days turn into weeks that turn into months that turn into years. Before you know it, you can’t even remember the last conversation you had with someone because of life.

And at the very exact same time that “life” is happening, it doesn’t. Life isn’t easy, I don’t think it was designed to be easy. Everyone will hit a rough patch or twenty. Some will suffer throughout their childhood. Some as young adults. Some won’t even suffer until they’ve hit the peak mid-life crisis stage of life. But it happens to the best of us.

Truly..to the best of us.

One year ago today, an old friend passed away. I call her an old friend not because of our age but because of life. Life got in the way from seeing each other often. Life got in the way who’s who and what’s what. Life got in the way of appreciating the goodness, the memories, the time.

And death? Well, sadly, death brought us back together. We don’t often think about everyone that has made an impact on our lives every single day because there’s still time. There will always be time to run into them at Wal-mart or catch up at class reunions. There will be time, especially when you’re 23.

That’s where I was wrong. This last year I’ve really tried to work on finding out who the hell I am. What I stand for. Who and what I love. I’ve tried to humble myself (it isn’t easy) and I’ve tried to be a more empathetic person (definitely not easy). I’ve tried to improve myself because of one person and that person is Aron.

Now, I wasn’t best friends with her. I didn’t keep in touch like I should have. I didn’t know what she was doing in her day to day life but I knew one thing. Time didn’t change her heart. It may have changed her life but it didn’t change her heart. It wouldn’t have mattered if 2 years had gone by or 20, she still would have come right up to you with a hug and a smile and ask what the hell you’ve been up to.

Man, I wish I could be like her. I wish that I could find the best in people and care as much as she did. I wish that she was still here and I could make a valiant effort to reconnect with her. I wish that her family could squeeze her too tight just one more time. I wish that holes weren’t created in hearts the day she died.

One year ago today, an old friend passed away. So much can happen in one year. Some enter this world and some exit. And some..well they are with us every day. We all miss you, Aron. Keep us on our toes will ya? I hope those wings fit you just right.

I’ve mentioned Aron in a couple posts throughout the last year. I’ve posted them below for Elaine, Melissa, and Austin. Sending the biggest hugs I can muster up your way today.

10/17/2013:
We Shouldn’t Have To Say Goodbye Yet
10/22/2013:
I Want To Be A Better Person
1/8/2014:
Heavy Hearts & Open Arms
4/4/2014:
Does Heaven Have DQ Ice Cream Cake?
8/14/2014:
Genie, You’re Free

Here’s Looking At You, Kid.

If I would have blogged yesterday, I would have spent my time bitching about a really stressful work week. I would have probably had a bit of a pity party and questioned why God puts morons in our lives. Maybe it’s to test our patience, who knows. But..it’s not yesterday. It’s tomorrow.

It’s a little nuts to know that a person can be angry, frustrated, and irate after a long week of working but within 30 seconds of being in the presence of a 3 1/2 year-old, the mood can be changed drastically. I’m hanging out with my niece and nephew this weekend and you know what, it’s exactly what I needed. I needed a pause button on the stress of grown-up life.

IMG_6572Kids are blissfully happy. They have no worries, they aren’t trying to impress anyone. They don’t care what comes out of their mouths in fear that someone will judge them. They are just themselves and it’s amazing. Children are the lessons in life that we don’t give enough recognition to.

I’m not yet a mom but one day I hope to be and I can’t wait until that period of time in my life. I know kids aren’t all rainbows and butterflies but at the end of the day, a child brings a light of sunshine into a shady outlook. They give parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and friends a reason to get up in the morning and a reason to smile no matter the problems that engulf the world we live in.

With that being said, I feel much more at peace hanging out with the little dude you see to the right. He’s a ball of energy and has a mountain full of life ahead of him. I want to show him that anything is possible and I’ll be living proof of it. I’ll be vrooming cars and cho-cho-choing Thomas The Train for the next 48 hours. Happy Saturday, all!

So if you have the chance blogging world, hang out with a kid today. (A kid that you know of course. Don’t be a creeper and lurk around a playground.)

Does Heaven Have DQ Ice Cream Cake?

Happy Friday. I had chosen not to write this week because I ran into an occurrence where I got really frustrated with someone. Bitching it out to my sounding board wasn’t working and the only thing that let me free my anger was to write about it; which I did. Writing my anger out is a good release for me especially when I am aware that I am overreacting over something so trivial because the paper doesn’t judge. Or really, the blank page on the screen doesn’t judge. But..I didn’t post it.

enhanced-7872-1395329299-5I didn’t post it because I knew it was hate. I don’t want to advertise hate. And I know that I would probably get some kind of hate in return. Karma, I suppose. On the other hand, I wanted to post it because I saw a picture about writing the truth (see right) and I agree completely with it. But the way the post was constructed was absolutely absurd and I really think that if I re-read it right now; I’d feel like a complete asshole.

At some point, when I’m ready, I plan on digging out my demons and letting people hear what I have to say in the most true and raw sense but this blog, right here..it’s not the place.

Today is one of my guardian angels birthdays. She was one of the happiest and funniest people I had ever known. Thinking back to earlier this week when I had written such an ill-tasted post; I’m so happy that I didn’t publicize it. Although the situation really irked me, I thought about a couple posts I’d written in my old blog about Aron when I found out about her death. I talked about finding the good in people like Aron did and accepting everyone for who they were instead of what they stood for. If you’d like to check either of them out, I’ll post them below.

IMG_5154Aron was a trooper. Literally and figuratively. She was everyone’s role model whether they realized it or not. Her smile, her attitude, everything – it lit up whichever room she walked into. It didn’t matter if you were gay, black, fat, or ugly; she’d make you feel welcome. All that outside superficial bullshit didn’t matter to her. Billy Joel knew what he was talking about when he said “only the good die young.” It’s true, it really really is. I could only hope that I could find the good in people like she did. That I didn’t judge so easily and that I wouldn’t have lingering anger towards others. At the very least, Aron’s death has thought us all to hug those we love a little tighter, keep in contact even when time passes, and open our hearts to everyone no matter what.

Happy birthday, Aron. We miss you.

Click below to read more about Aron and the effect she had on the lives of the people that were fortunate enough to know and love her:

We Shouldn’t Have To Say Goodbye Yet.
I Want To Be A Better Person.

Tiny Dancer.

1476228_10152088817608363_1287156455_n

I’ve been looking back at old posts from my blogger site and have debated on whether or not I’m going to re-post some of them onto this blog. I ran into a few about my brother, Nick. Throughout my entire life, the middle child Nick, has been my literal life support.

We’re 2 1/2 years apart and even though our lives are just beginning to take us into different directions of the world, he still is one of the few people that I’ve always looked up to. He was my first best friend and will be my last. I’ve had people come and go throughout the years just like anyone else but a sibling can never be replaced. We can tell each other anything and everything without judgment. I know he’ll never give up on me nor I him.

I envy Nick in the way that he lives his life. He’s so full of it, life that is. He strives on his passions and continues to push on even when the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t always visible. He’s a do-er and I respect him for that. I could only wish to be even half as good of a person as he is.

This kid has helped me through the worst and the best of times in my life and I’d like to say that I’ve been there for him too. It’s so difficult to maintain such a close relationship as we get older but I don’t think any amount of time could alter the bond that we’ve come to have. Whenever we are able to see each other I’m reminded of so many happy and positive things in my life. He’s down to earth and is able to ground even the most “strung out on stress” person. There’s a sense of intoxication from being able to laugh and share memories for hours and hours. Music blasting and laughing in the car until we cry makes everything else in the world temporarily disappear. It’s so easy to build a positive character when you have someone to turn to, someone to look up to.

Tonight, a cheers to my brother Nick.