Minorities.

We’ve been taught from a young age to not be judgmental or prejudice towards minorities like the disabled, people of color, sexual orientation, or religious beliefs. Yet, terrible things happen by people of all abilities, colors, sexual orientation, and views each and every day.

We’re asked to “look the other way” or “give them a chance” when we have bad vibes about a person of color or someone with a disability because if we judge them, we’re immediately perceived as a prejudice asshole.

Things like rape, child abuse, drug charges – they happen everyday when society “looks the other way.” And just to clear up foggy air; I’m not defending the fully-capable white person here and saying that we do no bad. Believe me, white people are just as guilty as anyone else in the “committing crimes” edition of society.

I’m simply saying that when we’ve been taught for so long to not judge someone that we feel uneasy about. We are taught to try to push that deep down in our gut to forget about it because we don’t want someone else to think that we are racially profiling or pointing fingers because we feel uncomfortable.

That’s the sad thing. Horrible things happen to innocent people every day when society looks the other way for the sake of hurt feelings. I’ve witnessed this first hand. A group of extremely innocent people could have been protected years ago if we as a community weren’t taught so sternly to “give the guy a chance.”

I’ve learned that it’s best to go with your gut and if you’re an asshole for doing so because you think a disabled person or any other minority is a fucking creep..than so be it. You could save a life.

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C’est la vie.

I know when people talk about me. Although, I’d like to be one of those strong individuals that say they don’t give a shit what people say, I’m not one of them. I do give a shit. It’s weird. I can’t really explain it. You’ll hear that so and so thinks someone is talking about them but it’s all in their head. They’re just being silly. It’s like some kind of intuitive feeling. Like a disgusting knot that can’t be undone in the pit of my stomach. It’s the feeling you get when something bad is going to happen or when you lie and feel guilty about it. That feeling. That’s the feeling I get when I know. Call me silly if you must but if you don’t have that sense, than I guess you just can’t relate.

I never know what it’s about though. I’m not psychic or anything. It could be about anything. Maybe I was a bitch yesterday or why I’m so quiet today. It could be about my sloppy choice of clothes because I just didn’t give a fuck this morning. Maybe I smell because not giving a fuck in the morning clearly starts with no shower. Maybe I give off a bad vibe. Who knows.

Regardless, it’s frustrating. I’m no saint. I talk shit too. We all do. But when it’s you, it just seems to sting a little worse. Bummer, huh.

Next thought.

There are certain people who I want to say I “deal” with on a daily basis. Sometimes it’s just too much. It’s really a frustrating experience being one of a few people who actually “get it.” Who really understand what has to be done, how it has to be done, and when. And when you’re metaphorically forced to shift your day around a person that just simply is incapable of meeting your intellectual standards, it really fucking blows.

There are so many ill-noted things I could say right now that I just want to scream. I hate having such bitchy and catty thoughts in my head. I honestly consider myself a nice person. I care about the people in my life. I help where and when needed. I do my best when it comes to my job and my home-life. Yet, when people other than me are faced with the same situations and are either incapable of doing them just as good and just as correct or just as timely as me, than I form some kind of anger towards said person. There are times that I just want to grab people by their shoulders and shake them. Yelling at them over and over asking them if they are fucking retarded.

And if you’re going to have an issue with my use of retarded than you can shut this down right now. If you’re from America and you speak English, you should know by now that there are many words with multiples meanings. When I say that I’m a very anal person. You wouldn’t jump to thinking that I enjoy receiving anal would you? It means I’m anal-retentive.

The same goes with the words gay, retarded, and tear. In the case where I first mentioned the “R” word about a paragraph and a half ago, if you chose to set aside your sensitive feelings, you know I was referring to someone who is more than stupid. Someone that is more than dumb. I suppose I could have used such words as senseless or simple-minded but sometimes when you’re about ready to collapse in tears, you should be able to use the words that come to your mind.

I wasn’t, as some of you may be offended by, referring to a mentally handicapped person. Can we continue now?

What it comes down to is enough should be enough. If I had the authority and balls, I would make some changes that involve my day-to-day life. Granted I am making a few personal changes which feel great but there are aspects, as we all have day-to-day, that we are not in control of.

It’s funny really. It’s funny how people can get away with so much. How one person can commit a terrible crime and gets away with it while the victim gets tossed hand over foot through the legal system getting fucked in the ass by the state. It’s hilarious how people can get away with the bare minimum and slide through write-ups. Giggling away and thinking they are doing a good job when any blind person can see that in fact, they are not.

That’s life I guess. As unfair as it’ll always be.

You Didn’t Seen Nothing.

Does that even make sense? No it doesn’t. So why do you insist on saying it? Why do people feel it be unnecessary to use proper grammar? We live in America for Gods sake. A country that should pride itself in our ever changing, complicated language. We should know it by heart. Yet, after the required and minimum twelve years of schooling where we continuously learn the same thing year after year, still people fail to use it correctly.

I’m not perfect. I often will google the correct way to use “then, than, affect, and effect.” Sometimes I’ll use commas rather than semicolons because I prefer the sentence to be read that way. I’m aware of what I write. I proofread. Other than that, I do my damn best.

We live in a world where everything is available in seconds so why not put forth more effort into your fucking grammar? I’m not even talking the tough stuff. I’m talking about the simple shit. Capitalize your damn sentences and use punctuation. You know those little red lines under every other word? That means your words are spelled wrong, dipshit. If I could collect a penny for every grammatical error I’ve ever caught; I’d be a goddamn millionaire.

My jaw just drops when I see these kind of errors not only on social media where people publicly make themselves look like idiots but even on the professional front. In all the years [which haven’t been very many] that I’ve been working via email, I notice more and more people getting lazy with their grammar. “Cuz” is not a word. Neither is “ty.” That is supposed to mean thank you for those still stuck on it. Come on people. No wonder our nation is failing on the educational front. The Chinese may not speak perfect English but they sure as hell are proficient in their native tongue. In America, we’re still taking remedial English courses in college because we failed the Accuplacer. Yet, in England, children are learning Latin by age 10.

Try a little harder. Do a little better. Seem a little smarter.

How Long Is Too Long?

I’ve noticed more and more women of the last few generations including mine are deciding to be stay-at-home moms. Heck, if I had the opportunity, I would probably opt to be a stay-at-home mom myself. In saying that, I mean it in the sense that if I had children and if my significant other made enough for my family to be content and well off without extra income I’d do it too.

Up until recently, I thought that’s what a stay-at-home mom was. She stay at home with the children. But how can you claim to be a stay-at-home mom when all your kids are in school? Literal terminology I guess. Or laziness. Or talentless.

Don’t shit your pants. I know you’re not lazy or talentless. You clean the house, you cook the food, you plan the vacations and activities, you help with homework, buy groceries, you do it all. You’re Wonder Woman but so is every other mom.

What’s the point of staying at home when your kids are absent from the home during the hours of 7:30 – 4:00? So you can what? See them off to school and pick them up after? What do you do in between? Watch soap operas and do a load of clothes? Bullshit.

MjAxMy01MmU5NDI2ZmYzNTU1MGRjI’m not hating on the stereotype because like I said, if I were in the position to stay at home with my babies, I would jump all over that shit but that’s not ever going to happen for one. And two, I wouldn’t abuse it like drunks abuse welfare. I’ve simply seen a rise in stay-at-home moms beyond the age of 5 or 6 and in the most simple sense, don’t get it.

The daycare costs alone are what I’m assuming is the most alluring point of interest into making that kind of decision. Great way of thinking, I agree. Getting to spend time with your children, teaching them the way you want them to be taught, ensuring that they are in good care, breathing while they nap, ect. All great points.

The biggest downfall I think we run into with the stay-at-home mom force is interaction with other children. I worked in a daycare for about a year and a half and interaction in the infant to toddler age range is crucial for social development. As long as you make it a necessity to have play dates with other children and/or enroll them in similar programs (mommy & me, gymnastics, water park, ect) your choice in staying at home will prove to be triumphant.

But we’re getting off track as to where this was going. Beyond the wonder years, beyond the first. We know all the positives and negatives about staying at home, raising them yourself. I’ve done research on some of it and I’ve concluded that if it’s for you and you can afford it, go for it. More power to you.

But there should be a line. And that line is kindergarten. Once your child(ren) gets enrolled into some kind of educational system that is set to a consistent 6.5 to 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. It’s time for you to move on and do something with your life.

807a68b1596840bbbcfa7f8e0f08e0b960Why in the hell would you want to stay at home every day to do nothing? The ONLY downfall of going back to work would be not being home right when they get off the bus. But in the age that we are in, there are after school programs, and an hour in daycare (if needed) isn’t going to kill them or your pocketbook.

You can join the rest of us and do you laundry while you’re waiting for supper in the oven. Or better yet, teach your children how to do the dishes and sweep the floors. Give them work to do or they’ll be helpless by age 18. The earlier you instill little chores, the less likely they will resist. Make it fun, don’t bribe them to do it. Teach the importance of it.

Staying at home during the primary grades and beyond is just an excuse. It’s an excuse to close your mind to the world. It’s an excuse to avoid social situations and most of all it’s showing your little girls (if you are blessed to have one) that they don’t have a role model to look up to because you’re just a housewife.

I’m not just being some crazy jealous “I want to be a stay-at-home mom” women here. If I were in your position and my children were off at school. I’d focus on what I love to do. I’d pursue photography. Work my way into circles of graduating seniors or other families I know to build a clientele. With the arrival of Pintrest into our world wide web of ideas, I’d love to live my life antiquing and making projects out of my finds to sell on etsy and eBay. I’d work or volunteer a few hours here and there at a local craft shop, art gallery, or humane society in town.

I’d be a “work-at-home-do-anything-and-everything” mom. What about you?

Dark Side Of The Moon.

I can definitely tell a full moon is in the air. I think I read earlier that it’s tomorrow or over the course of this evening. Whichever, it’s effecting people more than usual. Yesterday, it was so difficult to shine forth a positive attitude when everywhere you turn, you run into a wall of emotional distress by a being of the Y-chromosome.

Today is no easier. Don’t choke on your chips or anything but  I actually got my ass out of bed and hit the gym today. I wanted to start off on a good note. Something clicked and I just did it. I felt groggy and gross and tired and stiff but I did it. Hold your applause because it’s only day one.

Other than that positivity, the rest of the day has been bizarre. I’m not as focused as I usually am. I’ve totally spaced on normal every day things and just about everything and everyone that I come in contact with today is either extra frustrating or I’m lacking a severe amount of patience.

Tidbit: If you know who this is and what relevance it plays into this post than we might just be best friends.

Tidbit: If you know who this is and what relevance it plays into this post than we might just be best friends.

I went home on my lunch break fully intending on making some Shakeology and just relaxing for two minutes but as soon as I got there, I turned around and went back to work because I was so frustrated (for no reason at all). Instead of starting an argument out of thin air, I avoided it by turning around and leaving. And of course, now I feel bad about that.

I wish this damn moon would just pass so everyone’s swing dancing emotions can go back to normal including mine.

Update: I just read my horoscope of the day and it ironically reads as follows: You might want to defer any interaction with certain people. You often suppress your anger and it easily could be triggered. Unexpected demands at work or from others could send you into a tizzy. Treat yourself as a fragile object today. Tonight: Not to be found.

priORIties.

I like to think of myself as a list maker, an organizer. Just about every aspect of my life has a list of priorities that I hold to a very high standard. I couldn’t imagine not having priorities or lists or things to get done. It actually floors me at the obvious lack of organization in some people lives.

There hasn’t ever really been any point in my life where my priorities haven’t been in check. I’m the oldest of three kids, so I’ve always held myself at a standard of doing everything right. Every time I did do something wrong I was more obviously aware of it compared to others and felt guilty the entire time. I’ve always been overly organized and always ahead of schedule. Even in my first job and every one after that; I made sure I was 100% involved in what I was doing.

Sure, I was just like any other teenager or kid down the road and had some moments of weakness but overall I’ve always been more responsible and acted older than I actually am, which for argumentative purposes isn’t always a compliment.

However, I don’t really know where to give my credit to. I have great parents and they raised me as well as I could have ever imagined but they never really drilled academics or extreme responsibility into my bones or anything. I felt like they were pretty fair overall. Not overly strict but did have limits. Maybe it’s just the way my brain is hard wired to be or maybe it’s because my grandma told me women can never be doctors only nurses. Who knows.

I do consider my priorities in life as an immense strength because throughout the years; I’ve been absolutely astonished at the laziness of people. I can’t believe the amount of people that downright refuse to learn and to grow both professionally and personally. That’s got to be a downright depressing way to live.

I don’t expect everyone to have as much of a perfectionist mindset as myself but I would assume that more people would be interested in increasing their brain power just a little before Alzheimer’s and dementia set in. I guess that’s what happens when we assume.

So which are you? Do you prefer to do things for yourself or rely on everyone else to get it done for you?