Always A Sister, Never A Friend

It sucks not being good enough. I guess it’s more frustrating than sucky. Time and time again I hear or see you complain about having no friends. Over and over and over. No one can relate to you, no one wants to hang out with you, no one has the same interests, no one likes this or no one likes that, ect.

Except me. I’m always available, always want to hang out, always here to listen. I’m open minded, my opinions can be changed with the proper explanation, I’ll always give you the truth even if it hurts your heart. I’m loyal, present, and hilarious. But I’m not good enough.

It’s tiring always trying and it’s tiring always seeing your “I have no friends” posts when you’re being just as selective as those you complain about. We all want friends, we all want someone out of our family circle to connect with, bond with; I get it. But don’t push away those that care just because you can. Because they’ll always be there when no one else is. Sometimes family is all your going to get.

Believe it or not, I too know what it’s like to have no friends and I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of “maybe another time” over and over and over. It’s annoying and eventually you’ll stop trying. What’s more important? Building your social circle and counting on no one or accepting the people already in your corner knowing that they aren’t budging no matter how much you push away?

Life’s not fair and people suck but at least you have a handful of really awesome people that “get” you more than you’ll ever know.

Week Hashtag Five.

My blog has been pretty bare lately. Busy I guess. No really, I’ve been busy up to my ears. I’m coming to an end of the last Monday at my current job. Four days to go. Most people don’t give a five week notice. But I did. Partially my choice, partially not. Anyways…week five is officially here. Day one is officially done. Bleh.

I’ve come out pretty good on those Facebook Buy & Sell pages over the last couple weeks. If I hadn’t already spent what I made last week, I’d have come to my PR Buy & Sell total: $110. Not too hashtag bad if you ask me. I thought I’d try this new thing; replace curse words with the word hashtag. I’m wondering if people will take me seriously or think I’m a hashtag genius.

I mean, I come from a crop of digital inventors. My first boyfriend broke up with me via MSN. Emoji’s were cool before Apple “thought” them up. My generation created chat rooms and MySpace was our baby. Now we speak in hashtags. And by the way, if you haven’t come across at least one millennial who has used hashtags in open dialog than you might want to buy that particular millennial a computer, smart phone, and some good ol’ fashioned non-dial up internet.

On with the show. Did you know that if you rent a brand spanking new, only four other people live in the building, apartment…figuring out hashtag internet is an exhausting 1 hour and 51 minute headache on the phone? Now if I could just lug around the corded telephone with a football fields length worth of cord around the house with me, it wouldn’t be a big deal. But to crank my neck or listen to the God-awful “please hold” music on speaker for that long? Where did my night go?

63f15aada3cae11993bcae4c230c561cNot to mention, I’m living like a poor kid right out of high school trying to cut it on a punctured blow up mattress. I guess the one thing I have going for me is that I’ve thrown housework out the window for the next four days right? This is the life. Week five.

Have you seen the MTV hit show Awkward? If you haven’t, you should. It’s classic bad acting, cliche, high school drama rolled into a thrilling must-see 30 minute TV show. I watch it every week. It’s one of my many television heroines. Anyways..last week Tamara and Jenna were fighting (they’re best friends and apparently best friends fight. Who would have known.) Tamara is a very high strung, super organized, always knows what’s going on redhead. And Jenna, she’s a super chill, go with the flow, wrong place wrong time kind of girl.

51WAhDYHNcL._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_Closing in on the end of their little fight, Tamara expressed how she would just die to be as chill and relaxed as Jenna is. To just go with it, take life as it is. That’s how I wish I could be. Maybe. My mind is always moving, even when I’m relaxing, I’m constantly thinking. I’ve never been that girl but I’ve always been that girl.

Once I get fully settled into my new place I have an updated game plan for my blog. Some of it will be the same blabbering on about nothing and some will be creative writing assignments courtesy of an early birthday present my mom (and blog reader) gave to me. Any of the 642 things to write about or variation of such will be labeled CWA #1 and so on. Any normal post will stay the same.

I hope you enjoy! Here’s to week five, day two.