The Other Victims

Is it wrong that I feel worse for the Schumacher family then I do for the officer killed in the line of duty and his family? I guess, I don’t mean that I feel worse for but I feel equally as bad for? I don’t think that the officer, his family, department, and community somehow have more grief than the Schumacher’s do.

Don’t get me wrong, the entire situation is heartbreaking and I don’t mean any disrespect by saying that but think about it.. From the little the public knows, the Schumacher family (children and wife) have been victimized for years not just on this one occasion when the police were called. They’d been living with “this” for years. I guarantee you hearts were broken over and over and over for years. This whole thing is just as debilitating for them as it is for anyone else.

The little that we do know is that the shooter has a history of violence and that is only what is public record. Speaking from experiences in and around my life, I can very accurately say that every “instance” is not reported to the officials. If it would have been, this situation may have turned out totally differently but that doesn’t mean that someone’s life wouldn’t have been lost. Maybe not last week but maybe it would have been years prior after a few stints in jail and a few more reasons to be angry at the world.

I don’t know what stirred up the events that happened that night and I doubt anyone really will but I’ve been thinking a lot about the family that he left behind. I couldn’t imagine the mix of emotions that they’re facing. Not only did they lose someone that they probably loved beyond words but they are also going to have people looking at them for as long as they reside in this community.

Just because someone is a bad person or does a bad thing or makes a bad choice or kills an officer does NOT mean that the family and loved ones are the same as that person. Often the opposite is true. It is nearly impossible to help someone that doesn’t want to be helped. And sometimes it’s just as confusing for the loved ones as it is for the person themselves. Some days, weeks, months are great and then some days, weeks, months are horrible. It’s a teeter totter of emotion time and time again.

I’m very relieved to hear that there seems to be more positive community response then negative towards the family of the the deceased. I think that there is some kind of looming black hole for people to open their eyes wider than just the police officer that died rather than the whole picture. Officer Moszer wasn’t the only victim that night.

There have been a handful of funds and donations areas set up for the Schumacher family. For an updated news article and information on donating to the Schumacher family, click here.

I want to mention for anyone reading this, I don’t know the family and I don’t even know what happened that night but neither do you. He may have been ill, he may not have been. He may have had a bad day at work or he may have almost gotten hit by oncoming traffic. Anything can set a person off and events can escalate quicker than we are capable of figuring out a resolution.

Prayers and healing thoughts sent to both the Schumacher and Moszer families.

Mental Illness & Its Sidekick: Social Media

I hope that few or even none will ask for the password to the previous post in which I wrote. It is full of hurt, frustration and ignorance. But to bring light to a negative situation, I wanted to share with you a quote that I came across a few days ago:

“I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.” -Charles Dickens

To fill you in.. I have a hard time understanding and even believing that mental illnesses exist in the lives of many. Before you snap my head back, note what I said and I’ll reiterate it for those of you who didn’t catch it. I believe that mental illnesses exist. I believe that there are people in this world that suffer from an array of mental illnesses, of which, I pray and hope that they are able to obtain and receive the treatment and help that they need.

However, I don’t believe that everyone who claims to suffer from a mental illness does. And equally, I think there are people that have illnesses and out of denial, chose not to seek help.

But..

I’m so sick of people using various mental illnesses as excuses. As an excuse to stop something, to never complete tasks. An excuse to not work or function like a member of society. An excuse to give up. An excuse to hurt people and an excuse to be selfish. It’s sickening and I honestly think that it’s the reason I have an extreme lack of empathy for mental illness as whole. For those who (in my opinion) abuse the severity of mental illnesses.

Keep in mind that I do agree and believe that there are people who this affects greatly. People who literally cannot function appropriately. People who cannot overcome their illness even if they desired to.

But I do know people who can help themselves. People who Google search symptoms and self-diagnose. Anxiety, depression, bi-polar; those of you who do not suffer from it in a mentally debilitating way, stop for the love of everything holy, using it as an excuse. You’re not helping yourself or society. Just because you had a bad day or a bad week does not mean you are mentally sick.

If you seriously do suffer from a mental illness and can get help, get fucking help. If you are given options to stop hurting yourself and those around you, fucking get help. Stop being selfish, stop looking for pity, stop making excuses. Get. Help.


And this brings me back to my original quote. Although I don’t understand and may never, I do want to applaud the family members of those who are consistently being there for their loved ones with mental illnesses. Without you, those suffering may have no one in their corner. If you haven’t already, and even if you have, please never ever stop encouraging them to get help for themselves and for those around them.

“I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.” -Charles Dickens

After reading what I wrote, some of it might contradict itself but it’s still worth sharing.  This post isn’t about those truly suffering from a mental illness. The only reason I brought this to light is because I recently witnessed a mental illness “down” and it gave me a new perspective. I viewed someone I’ve watched grow up my whole life, totally differently and it made me question everything I did and didn’t know about mental illnesses.

This post is about those that “brag” on social media that they can’t do this and can’t do that because of anxiety. Those that look for pity and claim to suffer from major depression because their car died on the side of the road. Those that give mental illness a bad name and take away from the severity of what is really on the table.