Pre-Trip Feels.

It’s the eve before my next big adventure and I’m sitting in an empty nail salon getting a deluxe pedicure sipping complimentary water, but I’m pretending it’s a glass of sweet wine. This is the life.

I leave for Hawaii in less than 24 hours, our flight is scheduled for a 6:15 a.m. departure from Hector International. Good luck self in getting up on time. Though, I do feel like a little kid at Christmas. I’m sure I’ll be up before my alarm patiently waiting for my brother and parents to pick me up before the 5 o’clock hour.

All of my trips are special for differnt reasons but this one is dedicated to my dad. I’m not sure he’s ever really been on a proper vacation outside of weekend getaways throughout his adult life. I remember hearing a tale of a Mount Rushmore road trip in his youth with my grandparents but that was more decades ago than I am old. It’s time to venture out, pops.

My dad turns 60 this year, in October. Two years ago on his birthday, our family surprised him by telling him he was going to make it to Hawaii before his 60th birthday. I doubt he believed us and I’ll never forget his face when we told him.

See, he’s a truck driver. He’s been everywhere, man. Literally. Every state, including parts of Canada. He’s just missing The Aloha State, until now. I know he’s nervous, I’m certain I inherited my anxious tendencies from my father. But I know he’s super amped too. I anticipate “travel day” will be a bit stressful and draining for him and/or my mom but “hello sunshine!” and all the transportation woes will be a thing of the past!

Well, it’s time for my sugar scrub and 10-min leg massage. This is my favorite part of pedis so I’m going to leave you here while I try find inner peace for a moment or two. Have you treated yourself to some kind of self-care lately? If not, get on it girl! Or guy or dude or whatevs.

P.S. I had planned on ending my post above but I need to shamelessly plug Fantasy Nails on South 45th. I usually bounce from place to place for pedis but I’ve finally found the best one in all of Fargo. These guys are legit. The Deluxe Pedi (middle package) included all the usuals like a sugar scrub, paraffin wax, and hot towels but I had 2 hot towel sessions, an amazing cooling gel treatment, and not one but three 5-10 minute massages. While the wax was doing it’s thang, he stepped away for about 15 minutes and I was in a peacefully bliss quiet oasis of massage chair and meditation. Check it out and ask for Hersley (phonetically spelled, unsure of it’s accuracy, lol). A Deluxe Pedi is $40 for regular polish and $55 for gel. 👌

Lastly, here’s our typical night before, Bodhi-thinks-he’s-coming-with photo. One day, bud.

Time To Go Shopping.

2cd60d089427d0f7085613ac9aafc400I’m not as girly as I wish I were. I love fashion and internally am a fashionista. I know what’s in style and I love it. Layers, boots, leggings, infinity scarves, the list goes on. I like painted nails and getting pedicures. I could look on Pinterest all day long at long wavy hairstyles.

BUT nothing ever looks as good as it should when I try it. My nails chip as soon as I paint them. Curls fall flat no matter how many tutorials I watch and how much product I use. Being a fatty mcfatpants doesn’t help much either because the plus size world of fashion shouldn’t really be classified as fashion to begin with. Everything that I find either has thunder thighs or inseams too short. Shirts that don’t cover my butt or are made out of skin tight fabric. Whoever designs the majority of plus size clothing CLEARLY has no idea what it’s like.

e0dbca629f94c51c1c11c35b64209facAnd then you have the classic go to like Lane Bryant who I guess is fine but their clothes are really only built for one type of plus-size woman. They only look “okay” on a size 16. Anything else? Forget it.

I’m trying my best to turn around my shaded view around though. Because honestly, I haven’t really “tried” to find things that work for me for a couple years. I’ve recently been looking online and looking in the plus-size section of more stores to find something that will fit into today’s fashion (which I love) and can make me look as good as I can in my head.

If I’m being realistic though, I really haven’t put much effort into my outward appearance for a couple of years. Gaining weight really kills self-confidence when you didn’t have any to begin with. I don’t know if I’ll ever find the SC that I should have “discovered” years ago but it’s worth a try right?

1cd44a3df300dacfe774e08a7b7cade9Proofreading this, what I’m trying to say really isn’t coming out quite right. I really wish I could pull of the vintage-y, long sweaters, girly dresses, patterned leggings, biker boots, beach waves, size zero gauges look. Know what I mean? I could though, you know. I could try it and just not give a shit about what people will say and the looks I’ll get. Think to myself “screw ’em” when their eyes are screaming “she shouldn’t be wearing that, doesn’t she know she’s a big girl?”

Fuck, don’t even get me started on the term “big girl.” I’d rather someone tell me to my face how fat I am and that it grosses them out than have someone refer to me as a “big girl.”

Mreh.