Selfie Or Helpie?

I’ve noticed a phenomenon on Facebook feeds around the area. This has been happening for about a year now but more recently more and more people have followed suit. The topic at hand here – is pre and post workout pictures being blasted all over social media.

I feel indifferent about this. On one hand, I get it. So many “inspirational leaders” are showing off their goods because they want you to jump on the bandwagon. To get healthy and fit. They are proud of themselves and are bound and determined to show you, your mother, brother, teacher, and co-workers that they can do the same.

I’m new to the workout and eating right world. And when I say new, I mean old. I’ve been trying to get into the swing of things since I was in 4th grade when I was put on my first “diet.” However, over the last 7 or so weeks, I started something new and I’m currently down 17.6 pounds and making progress. Go me!! But I’m nowhere near the “show my stomach on Facebook” progress though. That’ll never happen.

Getting a little side-tracked here. But I get it. I get that a good 10 of you on Facebook are Beachbody coaches. Your job is to help and encourage others to do the same as you, try as hard as you, look as good as you. It’s motivating. Sometimes.

But other times, it’s annoying. You’re flat stomach still looks the same as it looked yesterday and the day before. It even looks the same as the day you started. I don’t really think this has to do with “jealously” of the thin and famous. It’s more along the lines of wanting to see someone that has actually gone through a transformation struggle. Not someone that has always been an athlete, or slim built, or naturally born with metabolism.

Just an observation I guess. I do follow most of the people, not for the results but for the encouraging words. Most of them post a picture of their fabulous physique but they also talk about the struggle of making yourself workout and making yourself eat right and making yourself choose life rather than death.

I guess sometimes I just don’t know if they are actually “helping” people because they want to and that’s what drives them or if they are just excited to take a selfie and show off. Every. Single. Day. Considering that we live in a primarily narcissistic world, it’s hard to tell the difference.


My name is Orianah but most people call me Ori. Actually, everyone does and if you don’t, than we probably don’t know each other. I remember wanting my name to be Emily for so many years. I knew an Emily and  I envied her. She had the typical Roseau look; blonde hair and blue eyes. She played basketball and was popular. She even had THE last name. For those from a small town, I’m sure you know what I mean by that.

Instead of being named and being born with what I saw as the ideal life of a 3rd grader; I was named Orianah. I was a pudgy ginger with Harry Potter glasses before Harry Potter glasses were deemed cool. I wore Pamida brand clothes and was teased like a son of a bitch. Some kid in second grade called me a fag once. I was one of those kids that were bullied from 1st grade all the way through 9th. And after that, I didn’t let my ears hear the comments but my eyes still saw the looks.

So what. I was bullied and I dealt with it. I have insecurities but I’ve made peace with the assholes of my past. What goes around comes around is the way I see it and to be quite honest, if something shitty happened or happens to them throughout their lives, I have zero remorse or empathy for them. Call me a bad person if you must.

Someone told me in my adult life that they were just kids. That they didn’t know any better so I shouldn’t hold a grudge. I think I’ve overcome the grudge part. But that doesn’t mean that their hurtful childhood remarks didn’t phase me. It doesn’t mean that I’ll be able to conveniently “forget.”

I rambled a bit too much on that topic. I was thinking last night about biographies and how our biographies always seem to change depending on who we’re around. For example – If I were asked to write a short bio about myself for a company newsletter at work, obviously I wouldn’t write what I wrote above. It would begin something like this:

My name is Orianah, but everyone calls me Ori. I was born and raised in Roseau, MN and moved to Viking during my freshman year of high school I have two brothers, a mom, and a dad.

The classic humdrum that we all already know. So, what’s the opening paragraph to your bio? Does it change depending on who you’re presenting it to? Does it change throughout your lifetime? I know mine does.

Love You More.

Oh, hey. I’ve been out of commission for a while on vacation. I’ll update you with the details later. I haven’t even gotten a chance to go through my pictures yet. But since I’m here, I thought I’d open up the floor to a thought on my long way home yesterday. I should add a disclaimer so that everyone knows that I mean no offense because this may come off as one-sided.

Disclaimer: There is no scientific bias to my observation. It is just that, an observation based on people that I know. Some I know very well and some I don’t know much more than their last names. I also want to note that although I’m going to use examples, that doesn’t mean that I’m correct. We’re all wrong once in a while. Just hear me out.

So, on the way home, don’t ask me why or how this came about because I don’t have an answer for that…but I was thinking about relationships. Everything from romantic to platonic. It seems (in my observation) that one person in said relationship loves or cares more deeply for the mate than the other. This doesn’t go to say that both people aren’t in love or are “best friends.” I’ve just noticed that there are many examples, primarily based on how they interact with each other in public, that cares for the other more deeply.

Take my romantic relationship for example. I know my S.O. loves me more than he can probably put into words but from an outsider looking in, it seems to appear that I love and care for him more. Take my parents for another example. They’ve been married for close to 30 years, together for 33. They’re in it for the long run. Again, based on the actions of them, it may appear that my dad cares more deeply in that relationship. My youngest brother, he’s still a teenager and his girlfriend is just as young. I don’t know her well but based on their chemistry when in front of people, he’s completely hooked. He’d do absolutely anything. No matter what. Her on the other hand, I’m not too sure.

There’s a couple that I don’t know all that well but based on the little information that has come up in daily conversation; the woman’s actions, I would have to say without a doubt, that the husband is more devoted and loyal to his wife than if roles were reversed. Same goes for friendships. Just humor me and try this out (mentally of course). Pick three couples you know whether it be platonic or romantic. Who loves or cares for the other more? Based on what they put out into the world?

When I did this on my drive home 9 out of 10 times it was quite obvious who appeared to love the other more. At the same time, which is kind of humorous, I wonder if in reality roles are reversed. Although in my opinion, it seems that I love my boyfriend more by my actions, I know that he’d have a much tougher time without me than I him.

When friendships fall apart. One half is sometimes quite fine. It didn’t really phase them but the other may seek a reconnection over and over.

See what I mean? Have you tried it yet? As a reminder, this is purely an observation based on what we put out into the world. Based on our attitudes and our actions. Just because this is what I have observed doesn’t mean in any way that couples are incapable of loving each other the same. But we are all made up of different lives. Different experiences. Harder or easier moments. Less or more heartache and pain. There is no way to really judge the level percentage of love or care within a relationship.

I guess that’s why the saying “actions speak louder than words” exists.