Love You More.

Oh, hey. I’ve been out of commission for a while on vacation. I’ll update you with the details later. I haven’t even gotten a chance to go through my pictures yet. But since I’m here, I thought I’d open up the floor to a thought on my long way home yesterday. I should add a disclaimer so that everyone knows that I mean no offense because this may come off as one-sided.

Disclaimer: There is no scientific bias to my observation. It is just that, an observation based on people that I know. Some I know very well and some I don’t know much more than their last names. I also want to note that although I’m going to use examples, that doesn’t mean that I’m correct. We’re all wrong once in a while. Just hear me out.

So, on the way home, don’t ask me why or how this came about because I don’t have an answer for that…but I was thinking about relationships. Everything from romantic to platonic. It seems (in my observation) that one person in said relationship loves or cares more deeply for the mate than the other. This doesn’t go to say that both people aren’t in love or are “best friends.” I’ve just noticed that there are many examples, primarily based on how they interact with each other in public, that cares for the other more deeply.

Take my romantic relationship for example. I know my S.O. loves me more than he can probably put into words but from an outsider looking in, it seems to appear that I love and care for him more. Take my parents for another example. They’ve been married for close to 30 years, together for 33. They’re in it for the long run. Again, based on the actions of them, it may appear that my dad cares more deeply in that relationship. My youngest brother, he’s still a teenager and his girlfriend is just as young. I don’t know her well but based on their chemistry when in front of people, he’s completely hooked. He’d do absolutely anything. No matter what. Her on the other hand, I’m not too sure.

There’s a couple that I don’t know all that well but based on the little information that has come up in daily conversation; the woman’s actions, I would have to say without a doubt, that the husband is more devoted and loyal to his wife than if roles were reversed. Same goes for friendships. Just humor me and try this out (mentally of course). Pick three couples you know whether it be platonic or romantic. Who loves or cares for the other more? Based on what they put out into the world?

When I did this on my drive home 9 out of 10 times it was quite obvious who appeared to love the other more. At the same time, which is kind of humorous, I wonder if in reality roles are reversed. Although in my opinion, it seems that I love my boyfriend more by my actions, I know that he’d have a much tougher time without me than I him.

When friendships fall apart. One half is sometimes quite fine. It didn’t really phase them but the other may seek a reconnection over and over.

See what I mean? Have you tried it yet? As a reminder, this is purely an observation based on what we put out into the world. Based on our attitudes and our actions. Just because this is what I have observed doesn’t mean in any way that couples are incapable of loving each other the same. But we are all made up of different lives. Different experiences. Harder or easier moments. Less or more heartache and pain. There is no way to really judge the level percentage of love or care within a relationship.

I guess that’s why the saying “actions speak louder than words” exists.

Bullies.

If we can’t teach our children to stick up for themselves than we are going to raise a submissive generation of pity induced robots.

My brother posted a Facebook status about a video that went viral locally. It was of a girl crying and her brother telling the camera that his sister had been being bullied.

I saw it on the news. It was sad to see. I had mixed emotions when it was publicly broadcasted on the 6 o’clock and 10 o’clock news because I ran threw both sides of the story in my head.

For one, I think it is horrible that her mom had the damn balls to film her daughter balling her eyes out from being bullied and then publicly posted it. I’ve said it a million times, I’m not a mom but that doesn’t exclude me from having a very just opinion about something because one day I will be a mom and I’ll still have an opinion and still be entitled to it. I felt like I had to clarify for the “but you’re not a mom so you can’t have an opinion” speech.

Anyways, I’m sure that the mothers intentions were to spread awareness that bullyng is real and in our community. We already know this. In my opinion, video taping your daughter clearly upset and Facebooking the world is so far from comforting; it’s ridiculous. That alone isn’t only being a bully yourself but it’s going to encourage people to poke more fun. Kids are going to watch the news with their parents and see the video. Then they will bully the poor kid even more for being a cry baby and a tattle tale. Do you not think it’d be absolutely humiliating to see yourself clearly distraught on television? A round of applause for the “Inconsiderate Mother Of The Year” award everyone.

Bullying does happen. I’ve been the victim of it for many different things over many many years. From 1st grade to 5th. As a pre-teen and a post-driver. And even as a college student and full grown working adult. It’s everywhere. It’s unavoidable in the disgusting, soul grabbing world we live in. It sucks and it hurts but stand up and fight for your damn self.

Kids are assholes but so are the grown ups. If we can’t teach our children to stick up for themselves than we are going to raise a submissive generation of pity induced robots. And I’m not saying that bullies should get away with being bullies. They shouldn’t.

The adults around should address the issue not only in general but when they witness bullying. They should be punished just as if they were late to class or caught smoking in the bathroom. If it is off school grounds, there are still opportunities to educate the bullies. Teach them about karma or even the golden rule. Teach them to be kind.

My brother would tell you to teach them to fight. Throw punches. Show them you’re tough. I get it. Heck, if my kid were being bullied; I’d want to punch the bully square in the face too but I don’t want to raise my kids knowing that violence is okay.

I want them to be physically strong but not to use it as a means to end bullying. I’m sure this is all easier said then done. If I had punched any of my bullies. I really don’t think it would have changed anything. I’d probably have been perceived as the mean kid. Not the bullied kid who took a stand.

Teach your children to stand up for themselves through proving the bully wrong. Teach them to do what they love no matter what anyone says. Teach them to kill with kindness and excel. Fight back with words instead of fists. And don’t fight back with hatred in your voice but with confidence.

If you guide them down the path of being strong and standing up for themselves, they will be fully capable to handle the real world because elementary is just the prologue to life.

So stop sheltering. Stop promoting a passive attitude. Stop treating your children like babies. They are going to be exposed to the world sooner or later, wouldn’t you want them to have as much experience with it as possible?