Bullies.

If we can’t teach our children to stick up for themselves than we are going to raise a submissive generation of pity induced robots.

My brother posted a Facebook status about a video that went viral locally. It was of a girl crying and her brother telling the camera that his sister had been being bullied.

I saw it on the news. It was sad to see. I had mixed emotions when it was publicly broadcasted on the 6 o’clock and 10 o’clock news because I ran threw both sides of the story in my head.

For one, I think it is horrible that her mom had the damn balls to film her daughter balling her eyes out from being bullied and then publicly posted it. I’ve said it a million times, I’m not a mom but that doesn’t exclude me from having a very just opinion about something because one day I will be a mom and I’ll still have an opinion and still be entitled to it. I felt like I had to clarify for the “but you’re not a mom so you can’t have an opinion” speech.

Anyways, I’m sure that the mothers intentions were to spread awareness that bullyng is real and in our community. We already know this. In my opinion, video taping your daughter clearly upset and Facebooking the world is so far from comforting; it’s ridiculous. That alone isn’t only being a bully yourself but it’s going to encourage people to poke more fun. Kids are going to watch the news with their parents and see the video. Then they will bully the poor kid even more for being a cry baby and a tattle tale. Do you not think it’d be absolutely humiliating to see yourself clearly distraught on television? A round of applause for the “Inconsiderate Mother Of The Year” award everyone.

Bullying does happen. I’ve been the victim of it for many different things over many many years. From 1st grade to 5th. As a pre-teen and a post-driver. And even as a college student and full grown working adult. It’s everywhere. It’s unavoidable in the disgusting, soul grabbing world we live in. It sucks and it hurts but stand up and fight for your damn self.

Kids are assholes but so are the grown ups. If we can’t teach our children to stick up for themselves than we are going to raise a submissive generation of pity induced robots. And I’m not saying that bullies should get away with being bullies. They shouldn’t.

The adults around should address the issue not only in general but when they witness bullying. They should be punished just as if they were late to class or caught smoking in the bathroom. If it is off school grounds, there are still opportunities to educate the bullies. Teach them about karma or even the golden rule. Teach them to be kind.

My brother would tell you to teach them to fight. Throw punches. Show them you’re tough. I get it. Heck, if my kid were being bullied; I’d want to punch the bully square in the face too but I don’t want to raise my kids knowing that violence is okay.

I want them to be physically strong but not to use it as a means to end bullying. I’m sure this is all easier said then done. If I had punched any of my bullies. I really don’t think it would have changed anything. I’d probably have been perceived as the mean kid. Not the bullied kid who took a stand.

Teach your children to stand up for themselves through proving the bully wrong. Teach them to do what they love no matter what anyone says. Teach them to kill with kindness and excel. Fight back with words instead of fists. And don’t fight back with hatred in your voice but with confidence.

If you guide them down the path of being strong and standing up for themselves, they will be fully capable to handle the real world because elementary is just the prologue to life.

So stop sheltering. Stop promoting a passive attitude. Stop treating your children like babies. They are going to be exposed to the world sooner or later, wouldn’t you want them to have as much experience with it as possible?

Bossy And Proud.

Maybe it’s new lingo on the playground but no one had ever called me “bossy” while doing my thing on the swing-set. And if they had, who gives a shit? I know I’m only speaking from personal experience but there were many times in my school days from 4th grade to 7th to 10th to college that I’ve been given a leadership opportunity and I went with it. I never feared being called bossy or having people make fun of me. Hell, I was already being teased for my weight, red hair, dumb last name, and Harry Potter glasses – one more word would have just added go-getting fuel to the fire.

ecard

I think we are dealing with an overly sensitive group of women rather than leaders here. True leaders aren’t going to give a flying fuck what anyone thinks of them and if they do than their parents need to reassess how they raise their daughters. It’s not new news that we live in a mans world.

I have a great sense of pride for the strides that the woman have made since the housewives generation in the early 20th century. The only way that we as women have even gotten this far is because we are bossy not because we crossed our legs when we curtsied. So why is bossy labeled such a bad word?

Eliminate bossy from our vocabulary and women won’t have anything to prove to people. They won’t have to prove that being a leader will get you places in life. And really, lets take a man in comparison: A lot of the boys and men that I have come across in the last 15 years that are leaders are very overbearing (ahem, another word for bossy) and can sometimes be royal douche-bags but they are successful. They aren’t successful on just a pretty face and a nice haircut.

“We call girls bossy on the playground,” Sandberg said. “We call them too aggressive or other B-words in the workplace. They’re bossy as little girls, and then they’re aggressive, political, shrill, too ambitious as women.”

This really is frustrating. Does she hear what she is saying? Newsflash: Men and boys are also called too aggressive on the playground when they push or punch someone. They are called assholes or dicks in the workplace when they lack sensitivity. They are called immature when they draw penis’ on their car windows.

I’m not trying to “stick up for” the man. I’m simply pointing out the idiocy of the “Bossy Ban.” Why are these leading women trying to ban words to make them feel better when they tried so damn hard to be treated equally?

“Leadership is not bullying and leadership is not aggression,” Sandberg said. “Leadership is the expectation that you can use your voice for good. That you can make the world a better place.”

So lets do just that. I was called fat, ugly, snotty, 4-eyes, and bossy among many other words over the last 24 years but I’m not going to petition to have those words banned because not only did they make me who I am today but they [those words and the people that said them] forced me to stand up for myself and to actually take a stand. The people that are going to call names will always be bullies regardless of word or no word. They will just tear you down in another forum. Get used to it. If we don’t, than we’re going to be raising a generation of pansies not leaders.

What’s your stance? Lets here it.

Who Inspires You?

It’s hard to fathom the amount of inspiring people that this world holds. Although I don’t have a lot of people in my inner circle of life; the people I’ve met along the way are all different kinds of inspirational.

944256_10151583867863363_1512414488_n

In my journey to adulthood I’ve met people that have had cancer and survived it – multiple times. I know a chick that never let her size prevent her from having the time of her life. I went to college with a girl would one day go on to spread awareness about the victimized within the Catholic church. I know mothers and fathers with beautiful (on the inside and out) children born with disabilities and embraced it. I know LGBT men and women that have stood up to and defended themselves in the presence of bigots. I’m in love with a man that was forced to stay strong through a very painful criminal case. I know a woman that could have easily died while giving childbirth. I know a kid that dropped everything to better his life and succeeded in doing so.

There are so many people that have passed through my life, in what some cases only seemed like a two minute span, but that doesn’t make them any less inspirational. If you demonstrate any quality from strength to power to controlling your own life to never giving up than you too are an inspiration to many. There is no predetermined mold for what will define you in life and there never will be. But if you face your fears and never give up, you’ll form your own mold and path in life in whichever way you choose.

The people that have come and gone in my life continually teach me to be kind and empathetic. They teach me to reach for the unreachable and strive for the best. They show me on a regular basis that they matter and so should I. They prove the discouraging wrong and stand up to what’s right. They hold the key to the many definitions of what I strive to be.

Who inspires you?