The old me would have binge ate all day today. But the new me has easily stuck to the healthy food that I purposely brought to work to eat. I won’t go into any kind of detail about why but today was a very eventful and stressful day.
As you may or may not know, I made a very serious choice on June 7th and that choice was to get healthy or to die. I’ve been doing very well since then. A couple of bumps like with any choice to get healthy but I’m officially down 22.6 pounds and counting. I hope to hit 25 by my next weigh in.
Before choosing to fight my obesity, I’d eat. I’d eat when I was bored, I’d eat when I was watching TV and I’d eat when I was stressed from a busy day at work or a fight with my boyfriend. I’d eat because Taco Johns was on the way to the grocery store and I’d eat because someone brought food today at the office. My religion was food above all. Above everything.
And really, it still is. The only difference between then and now is that I can control it. When I’m stressed or bored or angry or nothing…I don’t think about eating. Don’t get me wrong, it still happens sometimes. Weekends are the toughest. But I’ve gained some self-control.
3 months ago if I had a morning like today, I would have went to Hardees for lunch and then stopped at Holiday before my break was over to get a pop and a candy bar. After the afternoon I’ve had, I would have hit up McDonald’s on the way home and stuff my face before getting out of the parking to have supper with my boyfriend an hour later. Which also involved eating out about 75% of the time.
So what am I going to do to deal with today’s stress levels? I’m going to go for a long walk tonight. I wish I could go now actually. My energy is pumping and I want to be moving. I want to sweat out the annoyances and responsibilities of the day rather than hold them in by giving my heart a reason to clock out once it hits a pool of grease.
I’m no where near perfect in my choices or my physique. Imagining my goal is too hard to do at this point because it’s so far away but after a day like today, I’ve really been able to see just how far I really have come. I don’t always see progress in the mirror or even on the scale but noticing progress of the mind is one of the best signs of a positive journey that I’ve gotten to experience this far.
I know you hear this all the time by anyone that’s ever lost weight in the history of fat people but seriously, if I can make serious progress..so can you. You’re worth it.
I like to think of myself as a list maker, an organizer. Just about every aspect of my life has a list of priorities that I hold to a very high standard. I couldn’t imagine not having priorities or lists or things to get done. It actually floors me at the obvious lack of organization in some people lives.
There hasn’t ever really been any point in my life where my priorities haven’t been in check. I’m the oldest of three kids, so I’ve always held myself at a standard of doing everything right. Every time I did do something wrong I was more obviously aware of it compared to others and felt guilty the entire time. I’ve always been overly organized and always ahead of schedule. Even in my first job and every one after that; I made sure I was 100% involved in what I was doing.
Sure, I was just like any other teenager or kid down the road and had some moments of weakness but overall I’ve always been more responsible and acted older than I actually am, which for argumentative purposes isn’t always a compliment.
However, I don’t really know where to give my credit to. I have great parents and they raised me as well as I could have ever imagined but they never really drilled academics or extreme responsibility into my bones or anything. I felt like they were pretty fair overall. Not overly strict but did have limits. Maybe it’s just the way my brain is hard wired to be or maybe it’s because my grandma told me women can never be doctors only nurses. Who knows.
I do consider my priorities in life as an immense strength because throughout the years; I’ve been absolutely astonished at the laziness of people. I can’t believe the amount of people that downright refuse to learn and to grow both professionally and personally. That’s got to be a downright depressing way to live.
I don’t expect everyone to have as much of a perfectionist mindset as myself but I would assume that more people would be interested in increasing their brain power just a little before Alzheimer’s and dementia set in. I guess that’s what happens when we assume.
So which are you? Do you prefer to do things for yourself or rely on everyone else to get it done for you?
What a day, what a day, what a day.
I’ve been busting my butt all week at work to keep up with the workload and I can definitely tell that I’m working hard. Don’t get me wrong, I always put everything I have into what I do on the work front but we’ve just been busier than usual and let me tell you, it’s noticeable!
All is well in the world though. I was just talking with a co-worker today and we were chit-chatting about how we actually enjoy coming to work. There are many times throughout our lives where every single one of us has probably faced the “I don’t want to go to work today” morning dilemma and happily, neither of us has had to ever say that working here.
I have pretty stressful days between this and that and over there and oh yeah that too but I love it. This job is challenging and exciting. It pushes me outside of my comfort zone at times and urges me to learn more and know more. Having a good atmosphere to work is in definitely key when it comes to enjoying what you do and I’m happy to say that I have found that.
I have an ongoing bucket list that I plan on posting sometime soon. I think it might be a separate page kind of like the About Me and Contact Info pages. It’ll be things that I’ve been jotting down for a few years. Sadly, I have more on my bucket list ‘to do’ than are already done but one day at a time, right? Is that sad or is that hopeful? I guess it would be both gloomy and gratifying to actually have everything checked off that list.
What’s on your bucket list? A dream career path or place to visit? Where would you build your perfect home if you could? What’s your “bucket” timeline for the next big step in your life? Marriage, kids, bachelor for life?
That’s about all I have time for right now. I’m on the way home to tend to a 6′ 4″ beast of a man that’s picked up my sickness from last week. Too-da-loo.